DECEMBER 2022

Home > Newsletters > DECEMBER 2022

DECEMBER 2022

[VIEW ARCHIVE]

END-OF LIFE MANAGEMENT CONSIDERATIONS FOR PERSONS WITH SEVERE MENTAL ILLNESSES

by Kiernan Riley

“You have an admission,” I was told, “and get ready. It’s not going to be easy.” As a new hospice nurse, I got nervous. “The patient’s an addict. So is the family. Good luck.” My heart sank. That is really what it comes down to sometimes: luck. Not knowledge, or experience, or evidence-based practice, but patience and luck. People and their end-of-life experiences should never be reliant on luck. Unfortunately, I had been here before, and not only with the power and poise of a professional, but as a family member of a loved one with a severe mental illness. My pursuit of a medical degree to make sense of it all was snatching my ignorance away and replacing it with something much more powerful: anger.

doula Profile
Jane Dornemann
Jane is a doula serving the Durham and Chapel Hill areas in North Carolina. Jane trained as an end-of-life doula through INELDA and earned a professional certificate as an end-of-life doula from the University of Vermont’s Larner College of Medicine. She is a full-time technology writer who lives with her husband, son, and two dogs in Durham.
Q&A with Jane
When and why did you decide to become an end-of-life doula?
I trained with INELDA in 2018 after going down a long path exploring death and dying—sparked by seeing my mother pass away nine years earlier. When I had my son, I experienced similar gaps in the health care system for birth as I saw with my mother in death. I heard similar stories about the need for more holistic deathcare from so many others. (People weren’t educated on the dying process, which detracted from their ability to be present, among other things.) I eventually found INELDA, took the leap, and registered for the intensive training course (with my aunt!). I was lucky enough to have Henry Fersko-Weiss as my teacher.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Upcoming Event - December Certification Q&A

INELDA End-of-Life Doula Certification Q&A

TOMORROW! December 13 | TUE 7-8:30pm ET

INELDA has launched a new certification program. Director of program development Dr. Jamie Eaddy-Chism will host a Q&A night to answer all questions about certification. We appreciate those of you who have been waiting for this relaunch and are excited to walk you through the process of becoming an INELDA-certified end-of-life doula. 25 SEATS LEFT FOR THIS EVENT REGISTER HERE

End-of-Life Doula Training

January 11-28 | WED 9pm-12:30am & SAT 1pm-6pm ET

This West Coast-timed foundational doula training is for those who intend to serve the dying as part of a hospice program, in a hospital or care facility, through a community program, in a doula collective, or independently. Topics include model of care, deep active listening, ritual, vigil planning, and more. This training will meet for six sessions, with two optional Q&A sessions on Fridays. **PLEASE NOTE: Times listed above are in Eastern Standard Time. REGISTER HERE

MEDIA OF THE MONTH

At Heaven’s Door: What Shared Journeys to the Afterlife Teach About Dying Well and Living Better

by William Peters, Simon & Schuster (2022)

William Peters is the founder of the Shared Crossing Project and director of its research initiative. Recognized as a global leader in the field of shared death studies, he has spent decades studying end-of-life experiences. Prior to publishing At Heaven’s Door, Williams worked as a hospice volunteer with the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco and as a teacher and social worker in Central and South America. A practicing grief and bereavement therapist, he holds degrees from Harvard’s Graduate School of Education and University of California, Berkeley. His work on end-of-life is informed by his therapeutic work with individuals and families, personal experiences with death and dying across cultures, and his family’s own end-of-life journeys.

THE DEATHCARE DIFFERENCE: DOULAS

by Douglas Simpson

Each dollar you donate matters so much to those who are dying. Most of us have experienced a death that has deeply impacted us—our loved ones, parents, siblings, extended family, friends, mentors, or coworkers. Death is a fact we all confront. And, if you are like me, you reflect: What were the wishes and needs of the dying person? Could I have done more? Is this how they wanted to die?

This is the space where end-of-life doulas live—supporting the dying and their circle in their nonmedical needs. INELDA has been honored to train over 5,000 compassionate, caring individuals so they can support the dying, whether they are in their homes, unhoused, or in a facility. There is still much work to be done.

INELDA UPDATE
NEW MEMBERSHIP MODEL LAUNCHING DECEMBER 15
INELDA will be moving to a tier structure pricing model to allow you to join at the rates that best meet your desired level of engagement. The new membership pricing is offered at $55, $110, and $150 tiers. READ MORE

MAiD CONFERENCE IN OREGON
INELDA is a sponsor of the National Clinicians Conference on Medical Aid in Dying in Portland, Oregon, on February 17-18, 2023. The conference is cofacilitated by American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid in Dying and Death With Dignity. Visit here to see the NCCMAID 2023 schedule and presenters.


THANK YOU FOR GIVING
Thank you to all who donated to our 2022 Giving Tuesday campaign. We are so grateful for the support you gave to INELDA’s scholarship program and can’t wait to distribute the funds to our 2023 recipients! READ MORE

WELCOME NEW ONLINE TRAINING ASSISTANTS
INELDA is pleased to have Christina Montgomery, Zuri McLeod, and Sue Webley join as our newest online training assistants (OTAs). The OTAs play a vital role in the functionality of our online education offerings, as well as our peer groups, webinars, and other live events. Welcome to the team!

INELDA’S december WEBINAR
Monthly Webinar

Welcome in 2023 With Self-care
December 28 \| WED 7-8:30pm ET
Self-care is what we do for ourselves to establish and maintain health. Audre Lorde reminds us that self-care is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation. As doulas, caregivers, or anyone providing end-of-life care for others, how do you cultivate compassion for yourself? Dr. Jamie Eaddy Chism, INELDA’s director of program development, invites you to join her in our end-of-year webinar tradition. Jamie offers a night of reflection, meditation, sharing stories, engaging rituals, and other activities that promote wellness.
Let’s end the year together by cultivating a compassionate space for self-care within our community.
Cost: Free with INELDA membership \| non-members $15

PRACTICE CORNER

TOOLBOX TIPS

If you have a client who is significantly speech impaired or has aphasia, I suggest using a packet of papers or cards that say things like “I need water” or “I want to be moved.” I had a client that I did this with and she used it a lot. She just pointed at what she was trying to say, which allowed me to understand her.

—Cynthia May Williams

SHARING SOURCES
Green Burial Council
Founded in 2005 by Joe and Juliette Sehee, the Green Burial Council’s mission is to inspire and advocate for environmentally sustainable, natural deathcare through education and certification. This charge is met by two separate arms of the nonprofit organization: education and certification. Through these two arms, the Green Burial Council (GBC) and its members support the growth of green burials in the United States and internationally.
The GBC defines a green burial “as a way of caring for the dead with minimal environmental impact that aids in the conservation of natural resources, reduction of carbon emissions, protection of worker health, and the restoration and/or preservation of habitat.” The organization is supported and largely run by mostly volunteers (there are two staff employees).

ASK INELDA

Is it ever appropriate to “hand over” a family to another doula if you have to step away? I am thinking hypothetically about any direct conflicts that may be unhealthy for me to continue the work. —September training participant

Educator Lara Stewart-Panko: Many doulas work in pairs or collectives to ensure that clients can have their needs met when the hours involved may be too much for a single doula to work. Even for doulas who choose to work independently, having colleagues you can call on as backup when needed is wise. You may encounter scenarios where you choose to refer a client to another doula in order to honor boundaries or ethics, or you may need to refer them on due to something outside of your control, such as illness or injury. It is absolutely appropriate to connect clients with other doulas—or other services—if your well-being would be compromised if you were to continue to work with them.

Educator Shelby Kirillin: To add to that, I have a clause in my contract that says “At any time either I can end service for the family or my client-mate and service.” So that is already built into the agreement. READ MORE

Please submit questions to [email protected]

SELF-CARE PRESCRIPTION

Seasonal Self-Care

This time of year can require extra focus on self-care. For many, the holidays evoke feelings of anxiety, loneliness, financial pressures, obligations, travel stress, relationship dynamics, and other significant life challenges. For those of us who live in places that experience a change of season, the effects of less light, cold environments, and hunkering down can also have a negative impact on mental health. The concept of this time of year is even baked into our lexicon: “I survived the holidays!” Here are a few tools (ones you already know!) to help you not just survive this time of year, but thrive during it.

Bring your doula grounding to all that you do. We are constantly balancing our doula work with many other facets of our lives. Yet when we go to see a client, volunteer, or just enter sacred space, we know how essential it is to mentally prepare. Bring that same awareness to your space this season. Center yourself before stepping into the chaos of a holiday or confronting complex family members. The tools we carry can support and lift ourselves, the same as we do for others.

Look in your doula bag. The sensory items we share with others can also be employed for ourselves. Before heading into a busy environment or confronting another night at home alone, consider comforting yourself by awakening your senses. Music, essential oils, poetry, an audio book, self-massage, and other “doula tools” can be gifted to yourself.

Listen. Our most essential tool can be utilized to help ease the intensity of the season. Listen to yourself. And listen to others. So often the large range of things we have to juggle can be approached with a question first. What are the actual needs here? How can I best support myself, my loved ones, and others at this time? How can I do this so that the least amount of stress is attached?

—Loren Talbot

News Briefs
Linking Sleep Apnea and Dementia
A study recently covered in Medical News Today concluded that screening for obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) in middle-aged and older individuals could lead to reducing Alzheimer’s risk. While a link between sleep apnea and dementia had previously been unknown, the research showed that OSA disrupted blood oxygen levels and presented characteristics of Alzheimer’s in models of mice. READ MORE

Canada, MAiD, and Addition of Mental Health
Debates on Medical Aid in Dying (MAiD) have heated up in Canada with the inclusion of mental health conditions added to a 2016 bill this past spring. This clause allows people whose sole underlying medical condition is mental illness to be eligible for MAiD. READ MORE

Lucid Dying Reported by CPR Recipients

Researchers at NYU Grossman School of Medicine studied 567 individuals whose heart had stopped while hospitalized and received CPR. The three-year study reported that 1 in 5 survivors reported having “unique lucid experiences, including a perception of separation from the body, observing events without pain or distress, and a meaningful evaluation of life, including of their actions, intentions and thoughts toward others.” READ MORE

The Final Word

From Courage
by Anne Sexton
If you have endured a great despair, then you did it alone, getting a transfusion from the fire, picking the scabs off your heart, then wringing it out like a sock. Next, my kinsman, you powdered your sorrow, you gave it a back rub and then you covered it with a blanket and after it had slept a while it woke to the wings of the roses and was transformed.

Accessible, Equitable, and Compassionate Deathcare

© INELDA 2022 International End of Life Doula Association is a
501(c)(3) tax-exempt nonprofit organization
Tax ID#: 47-3023741

Email us: [email protected] | Phone: 201-540-9049

Donate to INELDA