The Legacy of a Life While Contemplating a Good Death
by Angelyn C. Frazer-Giles, president of INELDA’s board of directors
According to a journal abstract from Social Science & Medicine, “People in Kwahu-Tafo, a rural town in Southern Ghana, regard a peaceful death as a ‘good death.’ ‘Peaceful’ refers to the dying person having finished all business and made peace with others before his/her death and implies being at peace with his/her own death. It further refers to the manner of dying: not by violence, an accident or a fearsome disease, not by foul means and without much pain. A good and peaceful death comes ‘naturally’ after a long and well-spent life. Such a death preferably takes place at home, which is the epitome of peacefulness, surrounded by children and grandchildren. Finally, a good death is a death which is accepted by the relatives.”
According to a journal abstract from Social Science & Medicine, “People in Kwahu-Tafo, a rural town in Southern Ghana, regard a peaceful death as a ‘good death.’ ‘Peaceful’ refers to the dying person having finished all business and made peace with others before his/her death and implies being at peace with his/her own death. It further refers to the manner of dying: not by violence, an accident or a fearsome disease, not by foul means and without much pain. A good and peaceful death comes ‘naturally’ after a long and well-spent life. Such a death preferably takes place at home, which is the epitome of peacefulness, surrounded by children and grandchildren. Finally, a good death is a death which is accepted by the relatives.”
So, on Saturday, February 18, 2023, when the Carter Center announced that former President Jimmy Carter would be receiving hospice care at home, I was both saddened by what this decision essentially means for the former president and intrigued by the possibility of having broader discussions about hospice, and more specifically, end-of-life doulas.
At the height of the pandemic, I became an end-of-life doula. It is not that I am comfortable with death and dying; I mean honestly, who is? I am, however, passionate about individuals having their affairs in order and creating an end-of-life plan regardless of the circumstances of their death. It is a fact that too many of us are not prepared for a good or unforeseen death.
End-of-life doulas assist with the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of death. They can encourage individuals and their families and help ensure they are surrounded by people who make them feel supported and loved. They can also help them find a sense of closure and peace.
While it is not certain that Carter has engaged with an end-of-life doula, deciding to go into hospice care requires consultations with a team of health advisors, family, and possibly a nursing assistant or a doula. At age 98, he has led an incredible life, even while being plagued by numerous ailments. Making the conscious decision to spend his final days in the comforts of his home, surrounded by family, friends, and heirlooms, is a treasured gift that many of us would welcome.
While we may not all have the resources that the former president has, I would argue that we all have the opportunity to make the choice to receive end-of-life care in the manner we feel most appropriate. Unfortunately for the former president and so many others who enter into hospice care, whether at home or a facility, hospice generally means death is imminent within a six-month period. While it is a hard reality to face, having a plan in place could alleviate the apprehension we have at our end-of-life transition.
It is crucial that all of us have agency over our deaths, just as we have agency over our lives. I would like to wish Carter and his family peace and blessings during this time and encourage you to find out more about his amazing legacy at cartercenter.org.
Author Bio:
Angelyn Frazer-Giles is the founder and CEO of Heirloom Estate and Legacy Preservation, the host of podcast Heirloom & Legacy, and president of the board of INELDA.
Listen to Angelyn’s podcast – Heirloom & Legacy