SEPTEMBER 2023

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SEPTEMBER 2023

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Wearing the Right Hat: Balancing Dual Roles as an End-of-Life Doula

by Michele Bograd

Everyone who becomes an end-of-life doula brings their personal history of caretaking and helping others. We arrive, among other things, as parents or family members, as nurses or doctors, as teachers, as people in business, as members of service industries, and as psychotherapists. Who we are as EOLDs is strongly shaped by our professional identity and past training (and I include here parents and family members as unpaid givers and guiders). The ways in which we show up are influenced by how and whether we direct or shape people’s actions, our definitions of caring, the “goals” of the relationship, our strong ideas about successful outcomes, and how we think about hierarchy versus mutuality in connection, amongst other things. As EOLDs, we must carefully explore the intersection of our lifelong work and professions alongside the special nature and specific tasks of EOLDs.

doula Profile
Emma Acker
Emma is an end-of-life doula and artist who was born in the United Kingdom and spent her childhood in New Zealand. She attributes much of her DIY attitude and creativity to these formative years. When she was 18, she moved to New York City to study acting and writing at New York University and found herself sharing a Greenwich Village apartment with an elderly dancer. Little did they know their intergenerational friendship would continue for the next 30 years and would lead to Emma’s first experience with end-of-life caregiving.
Q&A with Emma
When and why did you decide to become an end-of-life doula?
While I was caring for my elderly friend in what would be the last two years of her life, I experienced firsthand the siloed nature of all the pieces making up our medical system. I was struck by how unprepared for the end-of-life process I was. It seemed all wrong that a general understanding of how to care for the dying was missing from my life, and that of most people I knew.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Exploring & Embracing Ritual Workshop

September 26 | TUE 7-9pm ET

Ritual is an essential component to the work we do as doulas. We can use ritual in every stage of the work to enhance connection and meaning for those we serve. This workshop will explore rituals for your personal practice, beginning and ending the work with those you are supporting, as well as rituals for each stage in between. We will examine the rituals that we carry and others from cultures around the world. Click to see more details | REGISTER

Washington, DC |

•IN-PERSON• End-of-Life Doula Training

October 19-21 | THU/FRI 9am-6pm & SAT 9am-2pm ET

This IN-PERSON training will follow our intensive training model, meeting for three sessions from Thursday through Saturday at The Festival Center in Washington D.C. Doula training is for those who intend to support the dying and their loved ones. Investigate models of care, deep active listening, ritual and ceremonies, vigil planning, and more. Training size is limited to 60 people. Click to see the full schedule. Click to see the full schedule | REGISTER

MEDIA OF THE MONTH

The Death Doula’s Guide to Living Fully and Dying Prepared

by Francesca Lynn Arnoldy, New Harbinger Publications (2023)

Francesca Lynn Arnoldy is the author of numerous death lit books, including Cultivating the Doula Heart and Map of Memory Lane. She is a researcher with the Vermont Conversation Lab, and she was the original course developer of the University of Vermont’s End-of-Life Doula Professional Certificate programs. Francesca regularly presents on life-and-death topics with hopes of encouraging people to support one another through times of intensity.READ EXCERPT

INELDA’s three-Minute survey

Help move deathcare forward.

Whether you’re new to INELDA, someone who has trained with us, or a longtime member, we want to hear about your interest in deathcare and the support you offer. This important survey will help us with grants, scholarships, community offerings, and fostering community. This anonymous, three-minute survey has a few quick multiple-choice questions that we hope you will be willing to answer.

INELDA'S 3-Minute Survey on being an End-of-Life Doula

Click the button below to start the survey.

INELDA UPDATE
DOULA DIRECTORY UPDATE
We have been making some updates to the directory adding search functionality for ‘virtual services’, and ‘search by name’. All INELDA-trained members are able to make accounts on the directory. READ MORE

WE ARE EXPANDING OUR BOARD
INELDA is actively looking for new board members. The ideal candidates will be passionate about end-of-life issues and health care. Additionally, those with public relations, marketing, hospice and palliative care leadership, community leadership backgrounds are particularly needed. Our board oversees the organization’s performance in meeting its programmatic goals through maintaining its financial health. READ MORE

NEW MEMBER OFFERING
BlueButterfly, our newest membership partner, is offering Tier 2 and Tier 3 INELDA members $100 off the total price of a Virtual Memorial. BlueButterfly provides Virtual Memorial Services and Memorial Pages. READ MORE

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY

Accentcare Home Hospice in Washington state is looking for End-of-Life Doulas in King and Snohomish counties who are hoping to support patients and families journeying through the end-of-life process through our volunteer program. READ MORE

REGISTER FOR DOULAPALOOZA
Join INELDA and the doula community-at-large on October 14th through the 16th at NEDA’s Doulapalooza: Community, Credibility, and Compassion. The purpose of the conference is to bring together a diverse array of talent, ideas, and opportunities for learning, networking, and inspiration to those seeking to enhance their end-of-life-doula (EOLD) practices. READ MORE

RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY
As research is expanding around end-of-life support, and specifically doula works, the voice of families has yet to be highlighted. Hearing the voices of family members is needed to support a deeper understanding of what a doula provides. READ MORE

INELDA’S SEPTEMBER WEBINAR
Monthly Webinar

Incarcerated and Dying: The Work of the Humane Prison Hospice Project
September 27 \| WED 7-8:30pm ET
Join team members of the Humane Prison Hospice Project—program director Susan Barber, program manager Fernando Murillo, and outreach and engagement manager Laura Musselman—for a dynamic conversation about how their work is transforming the way incarcerated individuals die through education, advocacy, and training to support fellow peers as caregivers and grief companions. Susan works with the leadership at the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Prior to that, she spent 20 years at Mission Hospice & Home Care. Fernando runs the Palliative Care Initiative, where he trains incarcerated people to provide palliative and hospice care for their aging and dying peers. During his 24 years of incarceration, he committed himself to improving the overall quality of life in the correctional setting. Laura oversees work in educating the community, palliative care professionals, and stakeholders. She trained with INELDA and as a hospice volunteer for Hinds Hospice in Fresno.
Led by INELDA educator and moderator Kris Kington-Barker, we will explore Humane’s roots, as well as the work the group is engaging in today. Discover how the organization’s current pilot project is training incarcerated individuals in California Medical Facility, Central California Women’s Facility (CCWF), and San Quentin to become palliative care workers/volunteers.
Cost: Free for all INELDA members \| Non-members $15

PRACTICE CORNER

TOOLBOX TIPS

I highly, highly recommend watching the documentary Unknown: Cave of Bones on Netflix if you have access. It’s about a 200,000-year-old relative of ours who appears to have exhibited mortuary rituals. It made me think about every time I’ve closed someone’s eyes or folded their hands for the last time or placed an object into a casket—how ancient, how deeply rooted, how mysterious, sacred, and essential our role as caregivers to the dying and the dead is.

—Sara E. Web

SHARING SOURCES
Remento
Remento makes it easier to host and record legacy interviews right from your smartphone. The app recommends conversation prompts crafted by professional storytellers, neuroscientists, and memory researchers, designed to uncover precious memories of a loved one’s past.
Once recorded, stories from these sessions are showcased directly in a private Remento library, from where they can be easily shared without any fancy editing or processing.

ASK INELDA

How do I balance the knowledge that I have as a hospice nurse with my role as an end-of-life doula? —Training participant

Educator Nicole Heidbreder: As someone who has worked as a hospice nurse, when my clients hire me I address and speak to the differences very explicitly. I’ll say, “It’s really important for me that you know that I am coming into your life, into your home, into your apartment, your house, whatever it is, as an end-of-life doula and that I’m not coming in as a private duty nurse. I’m here as an end-of-life doula, which means that things I do in my role as a hospice nurse—such as medication evaluation, medication suggestions, getting new products for you, and assessing pain management—will not be part of the services I provide to you.” READ MORE

Please submit questions to [email protected]

SELF-CARE

Remembrance: Turn Toward Love

Set your intention to turn toward love when you become aware of feeling lonely, depressed, anxious, caught in self-judgment, or blaming others. Give yourself permission to experiment with different ways of reconnecting with love. Here are some possible approaches:

Send a caring message or prayer to yourself (silently or whisper out loud). Examples:
“May I be happy,” “May I feel safe,” “Please be kind,” “It’s OK, sweetheart,” “I’m sorry and I love you,” “May I love myself into healing.”

Imagine receiving a caring message from a loved one or compassionate figure.

Place one or both hands on your heart; hug yourself; place a comforting hand on your cheek; put your palms together in prayer. READ MORE

—Tara Brach, founder of Insight Meditation Community of Washington, DC

News Briefs
by Loren Talbot
CDC Reports Death by Suicide Increase
In August 2023, a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention identified an increase of death by suicide in the United States. Overall the number of deaths increased by 2.6% for all populations other than American Indian or Alaska Natives, who saw a 6.1% decrease in deaths. The 48,183 people who died by suicide in 2021 include a disproportionate amount of men. While males make up 50% of the population, the suicide rate is approximately four times higher than the rate among females. READ MORE

Acid Reflux Drugs Tied to Dementia
The American Academy of Neurology reported that individuals who take acid reflux drugs containing proton pump inhibitors for more than 4.5 years may have a higher risk of dementia. According to the study’s author Kamakshi Lakshminarayan, MBBS, PhD, ”Proton pump inhibitors are a useful tool to help control acid reflux, however long-term use has been linked in previous studies to a higher risk of stroke, bone fractures, and chronic kidney disease.” READ MORE

News Brief - Communities Are Essential in Palliative and End-of-Life Care

Communities Are Essential in Palliative and End-of-Life Care
An international study was conducted to evaluate how to enable communities to support people who are dying and their carers. The researchers reviewed current literature related to public health interventions by identifying 18 studies (out of 2,902) in North America, Europe, Africa, Australia, and Asia, focusing mainly on urban communities. READ MORE

The Final Word

Mixtape
by Omni Kitts-Ferrara
I am, you are, we are super awesome unique mix tapes. Made from love and preference and social constructs and rhythm. Held in my body is a world of nuance that only I will truly ever know. When I pass, I hope I will be remembered as someone who worked hard and never stopped because I want to live as fully as I can. I hope my brother endearingly jokes about my quirks for as long as he can. I hope that my children know that my heart is theirs forever and always. I hope to feel my partner’s touch until the day I pass because we know each other best and that connection cannot be sullied. And my parent’s love courses through my blood as a beautiful dance of José Limón and the Traveling Wilburys. But there is something I can’t totally leave in lineage, that ever so specific version of sweet appreciation and seriousness all at once— That when I feel it, the corners of my mouth lift slightly in both mystery and playfulness. My 1980s mixtape is filled with struggle and poignancy that dances and rages. And I will listen to it on repeat until the very fabric begins to tangle and warp and disintegrate. The magic of death is that it reminds me of the paradox— I am here until I’m not. So, play your music loud.

Accessible, Equitable, and Compassionate Deathcare

© INELDA 2023 International End-of-Life Doula Association is a
501(c)(3) tax-exempt nonprofit organization
Tax ID#: 47-3023741

Email us: [email protected] | Phone: 201-540-9049

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