It’s Never Too Late to Heal Broken Relationships

Just the other day I visited a dying woman who is working with INELDA trained doulas. This woman was still very capable of reviewing her life and we had a wonderful, deep conversation. As she spoke about her life and who she has been, I could see her reevaluate her sense of herself, and come to appreciate her ability to live the values she always held dear from the time she was a child. We talked about her relationships and writing letters to those most important to her as part of her legacy work. When I left, I felt a greater peacefulness in her. All I had done was encourage her to talk about her life and support the reevaluations she came to on her own.

I later learned that instead of writing a letter to a brother she hadn’t been in touch with for well over a decade, she called him on the phone and had a conversation. Once again, I was reminded that it’s never too late to deal with unfinished business or to heal—at least in part—a fractured or broken relationship. Even when time is very limited and a person’s energy is waning, it’s not too late. As doulas, we must always keep this in mind and help those we serve to be aware of this as well. When healing like this occurs, it helps the dying to let go in greater peace. For families, it may be the most precious part of the dying experience and help them immeasurably when they go through their grief.