Preparing for Pride Festivals: An Opportunity for Hospices and Doulas
by Dr. Joseph A. Eppink
“I didn’t know I’d be accepted,” she said as a single tear descended on her cheek, standing by the hospice booth at Pride. Her story was like so many. A family member she deeply loved was very ill and diagnosed with a limited time to live. She was apprehensive about calling for help, thinking she would be rejected. It was shocking to hear this, but a deep reality set in: Perhaps members of our community don’t know they will be welcomed by end-of-life organizations such as hospice.
The event took place on one of those days where one couldn’t drink enough water to beat the heat. It was brutal, but her words made me realize how important this was and how our preparation for Pride festival 2019 was so worth the effort. When my coworker Shelley Paet first suggested that Bristol Hospice Hawaii set up a booth, I wondered if we, as an end-of-life organization, would be welcomed by the Pride committee.
Our booth made a statement! Our very presence at the Pride festival showed support and served as a judgment-free zone—a safe place for stories and questions spanning the mundane, the unusual, and the bizarre. It was a welcoming place for individuals not comfortable with end of life to approach us, get a temporary tattoo, or win a prize on the question wheel. For that moment, end of life was normalized, allowing us to relieve the fears of many. As the team was packing up the booth, I knew it was very important to reflect on the day and discover other sentiments spoken by the 1,500 people who visited our booth.
As staff and volunteers started sharing their stories, we began to contemplate our process. We continued to discuss how the fun and functional elements of our setup—the questions posed on our Golden Girls–themed prize wheel, the tattoos, the free blood pressure screening—allowed people to be comfortable approaching our booth. For many, it was the first time they’d ever thought about or asked questions regarding the end of life. The laughter, care, and active listening provided to each visitor enhanced the comfort they experienced so that they could talk, share, experience, and ask. Due to COVID we were unable to host the booth the past few years, but are excited to be at the festival this June.
What went into making this a success? What can you do for your hospice or end-of-life doula practice during Pride month activities?
How to Make Your Pride Day a Success
Know the date, place, application process, and required fees. I know this sounds obvious, but there are Pride festivals that happen at different times of the year and in multiple locations. For instance, the island of Oahu will have our Pride festival in October, but the island of Kauai will have it in June. Keeping track of various events is especially important if you want to do more than one Pride festival. Plan where you want to be.
For each festival, there is an application process, which generally must be done months in advance. Be sure to consider this carefully as you make your plans. The application will include fees your organization will need to pay to be present at the festival. After the application is accepted, you will be given information about where your space is located, parking, times for setup and takedown, and much more. Read these documents thoroughly to be well prepared.
Determine your focus. Deciding upon the focus of your booth at the beginning of the process will help your planning and preparations for the event. Your focus will be different than your goal, so consider how you want visitors to perceive your booth and what they can expect rather than the results. What is your message? What understanding do you want to provide to the participants? For example, let’s say you want to make the work of death doulas the focus of your booth. You will have additional focal points such as end-of-life education, but your main center of attention will be death doulas. Ensure that everything you prepare returns to and can enhance the main center of attention.
Decide upon your target audience. Pride festivals are filled with people of all ages and backgrounds. The beauty of Pride festivals is the diversity! That can also be a challenge as you prepare. Who is your target audience? You want everyone to visit your booth, but giving some thought to whom specifically you hope to target, will help all areas of your planning.
Gather a team to propel the focus. Who will be helping you at the booth? This decision is critical, as you want a team that can answer questions, enjoy the atmosphere, be welcoming and approachable, and enjoy talking and listening to people with random stories and random questions. You want a team that will embrace and represent the focus to visitors.
Being organized ahead of time can help you determine tasks and timing for your team. For instance, while one of our chaplains was doing the tattoos, a certified nursing assistant was running blood pressure screenings, and a volunteer was making sure prizes were never sparse. Another staff member whose presence and laughter is very contagious was running the wheel of prizes. A pet therapist sat in the front with her dog, which was a huge draw that helped many visitors feel comfortable coming to the booth. All of these people made it possible for both Shelley and me, along with other preselected folks, to be out talking to passersby who might be hesitant to approach the booth. Throughout the day, we had multiple people assigned to times, activities, and duties, and all understood the booth’s focus prior to the festival itself.
Prepare prizes and information to support your focus. Everyone loves prizes and freebies given at festivals. It brings people to your table and can be the gateway for conversation. The important thing is to discover the giveaways that will drive your center of attention. You can have simple prizes purchased en masse, such as water, chocolate, pencils, pens, fans, and water-based tattoos. You can also have more expensive swag that you have branded with your organization’s logo, such as reusable water bottles, notepads, bags, fans, and much more. (Let me just add that fans are super important on a hot day!) Whether you’re handing out simple generic favors or items with a logo, your visitors will be extremely appreciative. It’s always a great idea to have a bag for visitors to put their prizes in, and in that bag you can include your business cards, brochures, and other information.
Plan the items to bring. This is where being well-organized is crucial. Weeks ahead of the event, start making a list of items you’ll need—it is inevitable something will come to mind and will then be forgotten, and starting early gives you time to record all of those items. When you apply to the festival, you will learn if they are supplying necessary items such as a table, a canopy tent, trash bin, and parking. Your list should include things such as extra tables, duct tape, pens, interest sheets, notepads, the prizes, and organizational information. Don’t forget to include coolers for water, snacks, and whatever else you and your team need to keep going throughout the long day.
Be overly prepared. This can’t be said enough. Be thorough and overly prepared. Be ready for the “just in case” scenarios, such as the need for extra brochures, prizes, information, interest sheets, etc. There is no way to predict how many people will visit your booth. However, you can take into consideration the location of your booth. If you are in the center of activities, you will be very busy!
This is also a time when you, personally, need to be overprepared. It will be a long day filled with stories, laughter, questions, and even some tears. Be overly prepared physically, emotionally, and spiritually for what you will encounter. You need to be ready for your visitors who may be ready to discuss end of life for family members they love dearly or for themselves, as well as those who are just beginning the steps of understanding death.
Enjoy the event and visitors to your booth! As you go through the day, don’t forget to enjoy the time. Look at the festival as a whole and enjoy the participants, the music, the food, and even the chaos. Enjoy your booth. You’ve created something that will help people, and you may never know how deeply you helped someone. Enjoy your team, as they believe in your focus and are giving up their time to be with you .
Moreover, enjoy the visitors who stop by your booth. They are amazing. This could very well be the first time ever they’ve been able to consider end of life, and it could very well be their first time as a participant in a Pride festival. Enjoy listening to their journey, and know that the questions they ask are sincere despite the way they may be asked. End of life is a tough topic for most, and just the fact that people are visiting your booth should make you feel proud of the work you did. You are making a difference!
We were thanked so many times by visitors for being there and answering questions. Our greatest delight was when someone whose family member was receiving service from our hospice would stop by, and they would be so proud to tell us about their excellent experience.
The experiences we’ve had at Pride festivals have been extremely rewarding. As we reflected after the long and tiring day, it was obvious that we all had encountered visitors to the booth whom we were able to listen to, be with, laugh with, and even provide education and thoughts about end of life. It was a success. However, the success was not a one-way street. Each individual who approached our booth left an impression, a story, a moment of sheer reality—inspiring us to continue to do what we do for the dying, for doulas, and for end of life.
Dr. Joseph A. Eppink is a volunteer coordinator at Bristol Hospice Hawaii and a practicing end-of-life companion.