Bonding Around Deathcare in Latin America
by Douglas Simpson
Last month I boarded a plane in Newark, New Jersey, to fly to Quito, Ecuador, to join the first gathering of the Red Iberoamericana de Acompañamiento en la muerte y el Duelo (Ibero-American Network of Accompaniment in Dying and Grieving). I was eager to go and learn and to be together with others who have been called to do this work. I spend a lot of time thinking about INELDA, our team, our learners, our members, and the expansive deathcare community. I look for ways to support those seeking to become end-of-life doulas and others who come to learn more about death and dying. I have never been in a position where my beliefs are so aligned with the work that I am doing.
Last month I boarded a plane in Newark, New Jersey, to fly to Quito, Ecuador, to join the first gathering of the Red Iberoamericana de Acompañamiento en la muerte y el Duelo (Ibero-American Network of Accompaniment in Dying and Grieving). I was eager to go and learn and to be together with others who have been called to do this work. I spend a lot of time thinking about INELDA, our team, our learners, our members, and the expansive deathcare community. I look for ways to support those seeking to become end-of-life doulas and others who come to learn more about death and dying. I have never been in a position where my beliefs are so aligned with the work that I am doing.
One area I think a lot about is the “I” in our name and what it means to be international. While we have both learners and members who come from many countries, we have been wanting to engage more in the international deathcare community. So you can imagine my response when I was graciously extended an invitation by the president of Fundación Elisabeth Kübler-Ross México Centro and INELDA educator Wilka Roig to attend this gathering.
So many thoughts immediately raced through my head: What could we do? How could we help? I paused and leaned into our doula principles of self-awareness. How do I show up here as a being and a representative of INELDA? With that lens I became not only excited, but also open. This was a conference conceptualized and brought to fruition by the five founders—Verónica Falconi and Sofia Plonski of Ecuador, Wilka Roig of Mexico, Catalina Mahecha Cruz of Colombia, and Maria Ignacia Mac-Auliffe of Chile—with so many others across several countries committing to show up. All I needed to do was be there with an open heart and no expectations. I said goodbye to my husband and two children and left for the airport for my journey to Quito.
So many thoughts immediately raced through my head: What could we do? How could we help? I paused and leaned into our doula principles of self-awareness. How do I show up here as a being and a representative of INELDA? With that lens I became not only excited, but also open. This was a conference conceptualized and brought to fruition by the four founders—Sofia Plonski of Ecuador, Wilka Roig of Mexico, Catalina Mahecha Cruz of Colombia, and Maria Ignacia Mac-Auliffe of Chile—with so many others across several countries committing to show up. All I needed to do was be there with an open heart and no expectations. I said goodbye to my husband and two children and left for the airport for my journey to Quito.
Arrived and Arrived Again
Amongst the impromptu 10:30pm welcoming committee I encountered were colleagues laughing and sharing stories. This set the tone for my next couple of days of warmth, hugs, smiles, and laughter. The environment I entered was accepting and gracious. I was immediately told to choose a hat from those hanging on the living room wall. I was tossed a question as I found my seat on the floor. I spent the rest of the night getting to know the group, as I was the last to arrive.
At breakfast I met several of the other attendees, and we began the day with two hours of forest therapy. Together we explored our relationship to the landscape and the earth. These exercises grounded me, set a new pace from what I have been experiencing, and allowed me to feel a deep connection with the environment and with my colleagues. The day continued with a hero’s journey exercise—and then I learned about what took place at the gathering before my arrival.
Arrived and Arrived Again
Amongst the impromptu 10:30pm welcoming committee I encountered were colleagues laughing and sharing stories. This set the tone for my next couple of days of warmth, hugs, smiles, and laughter. The environment I entered was accepting and gracious. I was immediately told to choose a hat from those hanging on the living room wall. I was tossed a question as I found my seat on the floor. I spent the rest of the night getting to know the group, as I was the last to arrive.
At breakfast I met several of the other attendees, and we began the day with two hours of forest therapy. Together we explored our relationship to the landscape and the earth. These exercises grounded me, set a new pace from what I have been experiencing, and allowed me to feel a deep connection with the environment and with my colleagues. The day continued with a hero’s journey exercise—and then I learned about what took place at the gathering before my arrival.
Sharing Our Experiences
I read the notes from the group’s first days together and saw the commonalities and differences that each spoke of in their deathcare systems. Attendees shared issues of palliative care, medically assisted dying, advance directives, and green burials, as well as field roles, trainings, and continuing education taking place in their country of residence.
The previous day the group visited the only hospice in Ecuador. The fact that a country with over 17 million people had only one hospice came as a surprise to me. I also learned of the doula work and trainings that had been happening in Argentina for over a decade. Each country represented brought a unique set of experiences to what dying looked like in the region.
I heard stories of uncontacted people in the Amazon required to carry their dead family members by foot for miles, only to have their loved ones pumped full of chemicals in order to bury them according to government requirements.
This was a large juxtaposition from the care that we all spoke of delivering. The group as a whole wants to let people know that there are many options at the end of life that one may choose. We want to ensure access to different types of care that meet the needs of people dying in our respective countries. We are bonded by our commitment and vision to ensure accessible deathcare and deathcare that honors the humanity of the dying.
I learned about the depth of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s work and the foundation that she built to serve the dying from her son Ken. How, in many ways, she was serving bedside as a doula of the modern movement and laid the groundwork in modeling how we show up in this space today.
Together each working group built the foundation of this work that will be ongoing throughout this year. There is significant work to accomplish being driven by endless commitment and passion happening in Latin America—yet connecting us all.
I was given an opportunity to be part of this community focused on Latin American countries, but I recognize we are all part of this doula community working together, sharing, and educating each other. Together we are finding ways to support and connect when and where we are able.
Closing Ceremony
A hole had been dug in the garden outside our meeting house. As the rain began to pour down, we all made offerings back to the earth. When it was time, I was handed the shovel to close the earth back up. I felt a sense of great honor and gratitude and part of something so much bigger than my being.
I will carry these connections and experiences that deeply shifted how I will move forward. I have carried the warmth and energy in each of my steps since I have returned.
I look forward to growing our relationships, working side by side, and supporting the work groups and seeing everyone again next year in Mexico!
Closing Ceremony
A hole had been dug in the garden outside our meeting house. As the rain began to pour down, we all made offerings back to the earth. When it was time, I was handed the shovel to close the earth back up. I felt a sense of great honor and gratitude and part of something so much bigger than my being.
I will carry these connections and experiences that deeply shifted how I will move forward. I have carried the warmth and energy in each of my steps since I have returned.
I look forward to growing our relationships, working side by side, and supporting the work groups and seeing everyone again next year in Mexico!
Grateful to have met all who attended:
- Athenea
- CareDoula School of Accompanying the Dying
- El Faro
- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation Global
- FECUPAL
- Fesaden
- Fin Doula Vida
- Fundación Elisabeth Kübler-Ross México Centro
- Fundación Pro Derecho a Morir Dignamente
- Hospice San Camilo
- International End-of-Life Doula Association
- Life Urns
- LiveDoula
- NLP Coaching Consulting
- Terapia del Bosque (Ecuador Forest Therapy)
- Terapias del Alma (Therapies for the Soul)