Death is a Transition We Need to Befriend…Thoughts from the Art of Dying Conference

The Art of Dying Conference last weekend felt like a pivotal event in the movement to bring death and dying to the forefront of awareness in our society. In a large hotel in New York City, 300 people gathered to listen to end of life care presentations, participate in workshops, and openly discuss their thoughts and beliefs about the nature of death and what happens afterwards. The New York Open Center facilitated this unique opportunity to explore a topic that is seen as taboo by most people, and it felt very liberating.

I overheard many conversations that went something like this: “Yeah, when I told my family what I was doing this weekend, I got very strange looks and was asked, “Why would you do that—it seems very morbid.’” Yet, here were 300 people who all understood that we need to talk about death—not just personally and with our loved ones—but as a society. And, in fact, the general feeling in the rooms and hallways of the conference was one of enthusiasm, not aversion or fear.

Speaker after speaker embraced the idea that death is a transition we need to befriend rather than fend off. When we face death directly with a sense of acceptance and curiosity, it becomes an opportunity for realization about the true nature of life. In particular, Robert Thurman and Eben Alexander emphasized that death liberates us from the restrictive, even delusory view of reality and life we commonly hold. Central to their thinking, and to the conference as a whole, is that there really isn’t such a thing as death—not as some kind of ultimate ending. Both men were eloquent as they dissected that reductive notion of death.

Sacredness In Dying

In my end of life doula presentations, I tried to broaden the conversation on death to talk about how we die and the suffering that comes from focusing primarily on the medical, rather than the sacred nature of that process. During my plenary talk I did a guided visualization to help people experience the sacredness of a life and the momentous nature of that life ending in its current form. Then I talked about the different ways end of life doulas can bring sacredness to the bedside of those who are dying. In my next blog I will share much of what I presented in that talk on this subject.

For INELDA, the conference felt like a coming out party. Many people were hearing about the organization for the first time. After each presentation I gave, people would come up and tell me how this felt like exactly the right timing for INELDA to have been established. It was very gratifying to hear people’s passion for our work and their interest in supporting it.

Since the conference ended, INELDA has received many inquiries about our programs and certifications. People also want to carry on the conversation they may have started at the conference. One way to do this is by becoming an INELDA member and continuing to receive our end of life doula blogs and other informational offerings from us. So keep the momentum going and sign up today.