Doula Profile: Anthea Grimason
by INELDA
Anthea Grimason
Anthea is an end-of-life doula based in northern California’s Mill Valley. She integrates yogic practices and Reiki into her doula work to help people transition peacefully, with a focus on spiritual processing. Anthea is also an advocate for personal choice at the end of life, including access to holistic care, medical aid in dying (MAID), home deaths, and plant medicine.
Q& A with Anthea Grimason
When and why did you decide to become an end-of life-doula?
It wasn’t a sudden, clear decision, but more of a calling that got stronger over time. I’ve contemplated death from a very young age and was definitely influenced by deaths of loved ones, but also by years of studying yoga and Eastern philosophies. Through these studies I became interested in the different theories around what happens after death and how different cultures approach death. It was fascinating to me, and I kept feeling like we can do better in our current society with how we treat death and dying. In recent years, as I heard more about the end-of-life doula role, I felt a strong pull toward the work, but thought it might be something I’d do later in life. Then in 2019, after I was invited to be part of a dear friend’s death journey, it became clear that the time was now.
How long have you been doing this type of work?
Supporting my friend’s final months in 2019 was my first end-of-life doula experience. It was really only a taste of what a doula could offer as she had so much other support, but it was an immense privilege being invited into her process, reviewing her life meaning, spiritual processing, and using Reiki for symptom management. I trained with INELDA very soon after that experience and set up my practice in 2020 during the pandemic.
What type of environment do you work in?
I’ve been fortunate to have had an array of experiences being with people dying or with serious illness in their homes. Sometimes I have served as an end-of-life doula, other times as a caregiver or Reiki practitioner. I have even supported clients online with getting their end-of-life wishes in order or through hosting an online event or talk. I also volunteer with a hospice where I mostly visit patients in facilities or give grief support over the phone.
What do you do before you meet with a new client?
I make sure that I am grounded and centered and not carrying anything that’s going on with me into the meeting so that I can be fully present with the client and their needs. I set an intention to serve, to be open-hearted and kind.
Can you share a short anecdote or insight that changed you?
I recently worked with a MAID client where humor played a big part in her process. On our first phone call I was describing how the medication was taken as a drink, and the client made a joke about it being like Jonestown. This really cracked me up, and she immediately said, “Oh, thank god you have a sense of humor!” I believe she hired me because I laughed. This really brought home the realization that just because someone is dying, which is obviously serious and sad, it doesn’t mean they have to change their personality or lose their sense of humor—what a relief! She was a wonderful, joyful human, and it was incredibly inspiring to witness her humor in her final days and moments.
Who has been one of your teachers or mentors?
Many teachers who have worked in this field for their entire careers have inspired me on this path, and I continue to learn from them. Frank Ostaseski, Joan Halifax, BJ Miller, to name a few. My greatest teacher, though, I feel, is death itself. Experiencing the loss of my mother at a very young age really motivated me to appreciate the life and opportunities I’d been given, and to always acknowledge how precious life is. I learned early on that there are no guarantees and we ultimately have no control over our timeline. So, to me, death teaches us to appreciate life “in the now” with no regrets, and not to wait to live fully and follow your heart’s calling.
What do you wish you had known when you started as a doula?
I wish I had a better understanding of the types of end-of-life services available, including palliative care and hospice and how people can access them, but also the gaps and how doulas can fit into those. Even though we offer non-medical services, I believe we have to collaborate with medical providers in order to provide the best end-of-life care that we can in a system that’s fairly complicated to navigate. So I’ve made a point to educate myself a lot and to make connections with palliative care and hospice providers.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow doulas?
Well, I’ve certainly learned how valuable this role is based on the gaps in end-of-life care. There are so many ways doulas can support clients, and I believe we are needed now more than ever. I would say to follow the calling to do this work and just step in while continuing to learn. The field is growing and becoming more recognized—it’s exciting.
What is your dream for your practice or doulas in general?
My vision is for holistic end-of-life care accessible to all, with end-of-life doulas front and center of that care, in collaboration with medical providers for pain management but also with holistic therapies such as acupuncture, music therapy, spiritual guidance, massage, and Reiki. I also envision conscious dying centers where people can choose to go and die in the kind of environment they want to be in, which is often not a hospital or the type of facility typically available, when dying at home is not possible. In general, doula-led holistic care with minimal medical intervention to allow for peaceful transitions.
Contact Anthea
Web: Life Death Breath \\ Email: [email protected] \\ Instagram: @lifedeathbreath
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of INELDA or its staff.