Doula Profile: Bhakti Watts
Bhakti Watts is an end-of-life doula who lives in south Seattle, Washington, with her partner, Paul the poet, and house rabbits, Talula and Bugs. She was trained by both INELDA and Living Well, Dying Well in Lewes, England. Currently she is studying to be a Reiki Master and practices reiki on herself daily, as well as an offering for her clients. She loves being part of the INELDA community.
When and why did you decide to become an end-of-life doula? I definitely feel like I was led to this work. I was working at a technology company that produced a database for navigation systems in cars, and I realized how the benefits and security of a job could suck a person in, even if they were not feeling fulfilled. I quit without another job prospect to “pursue my spiritual path.” This led to more heart-based work: 16 years as an in-home caregiver. What a wonderful group of teachers I ended up with! I got to be with so many courageous people with life-threatening illnesses living in creative ways. It made me want to focus my work on supporting people at end of life and their families.
I learned about end-of-life doula training in August of 2014. I was attending a spiritual retreat in Puebla, Mexico. I came out of a session and saw a flyer offering end-of-life doula training. It was being offered in the UK. I thought, “OK, if this is what I am meant to do—which it feels like it is—I will need some money to go for this training.” The next morning I got an email with an offer from someone to buy a little cabin I had been trying to sell for a year and a half. I took that as a sign, went to the UK twice to study, and came back to attend INELDA’s first class outside hospice!
How long have you been doing this type of work? I trace it back to the late ’90s, when I volunteered at the Dougy Center in Portland [a nonprofit that works with children who have had a parent or sibling die]. I began volunteering for hospice in 2005. In 2015 I trained as an end-of-life doula, went on to be certified with INELDA in 2018, and began practicing professionally.
What type of environment do you work in? I work with people where they are, whether it be their own home, senior living, or assisted living. During COVID lockdown I was pleasantly surprised at how well the work translated to a Zoom environment—working with families, caregivers, and people just wanting more meaning and connection before their dying time.
What do you do before you meet with a new client? I compile an easy-to-read form with whatever information I have about the client and family from emails or phone calls. I then make a list of questions that information brings to mind, as well as any suggestions for them about what they might want to try or how I might be able to support them.
Can you share a short anecdote or insight that changed you? My dad had kidney cancer. At that time he was in independent senior living. I knew he was very sensitive to pain, so I suggested that he might want to go on hospice. That way, if he had pain, there would be someone he could call even in the middle of the night. Besides, I explained, if he was on hospice he would not end up dying in the hospital. He told me that he would not mind dying in the hospital. The lesson: Ask more questions, and beware of my own assumptions!
Who has been one of your teachers or mentors?I think Stephen Jenkinson, founder of The Orphan Wisdom School, is awesome. I never get tired of hearing the wisdom he shares by way of his stories.
What do you wish you had known when you started as a doula? Somehow I thought that since there must be a great need for doula services, the people in need and I would just find each other. But I discovered that it takes time and patience to build a practice.
Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow doulas? Along those same lines, if this is your passion, keep meeting people and letting them know what you do. Don’t give up!
What is your dream for your practice or doulas in general? I dream of us having a doula cooperative in Seattle, where we each specialize in certain parts of the work. We would have an employee to answer the phone and refer the caller to the person or persons who seem like the best fit. We could help each other with long vigils, and have meetings to brainstorm about cases that are particularly difficult.
Contact Bhakti
Web: Bhakti Watts, End of Life Doula \\ Email: [email protected]
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of INELDA or its staff.