When and why did you decide to become an end-of-life doula?

I had several experiences with looking after people at end of life—my dad and a dear friend. Spending time in hospice with them and watching the amazing doctors and nurses led me to start thinking about EOL care. I knew I wanted to end my career doing something compassionate. I had been a nurse in a past life and I wanted to give back to society. So, when someone told me about death doulas, I decided to do a doula training course at the end of the first lockdown in 2021. From there, I knew that being a doula was exactly where I was meant to be at this time of my life. I haven’t looked back!

How long have you been doing this type of work?  

I think most of my life I’ve been the one who stands up to help those in need.  But actually working as an end-of-life doula started pretty much straight after my training when I got my first client at the end of 2021.

What type of environment do you work in?  

Mostly in people’s homes. Sometimes my clients need to go into hospice for symptom management and I tend to spend a bit of time there with them, depending on what’s needed. I’m available to work anywhere a client needs me.

 What do you do before you meet with a new client?  

Sometimes we have a phone call or we liaise by email and arrange our first meeting. I print out all my forms (I hardly ever use them, but I like to have them handy just in case!). It’s always nerve-racking to enter a person’s home for the first time. I get there early and leave myself time to perhaps meditate for ten minutes and concentrate on my breathing to slow myself down. I remind myself that I’m leaving all of my beliefs and ideals at the door, as it’s not about me; I’m entering the sacred space of another person.

Can you share a short anecdote or insight that changed you?  

A recent client’s husband asked me to help him during her last days of life by making sure that he was involved in decisions and able to get his wishes across. Her sisters were also there looking after her and he was worried he might not be heard. It reminded me that it’s so important to be aware of everyone who’s around the dying person so we can ensure their needs are also met.  And to treat them with love, respect, and compassion.

Who has been one of your teachers or mentors?  

Helen Callanan from Preparing the Way.  She was an amazing teacher and has such a wealth of knowledge. She is doing amazing things to support and promote doulas, mostly in Australia, but she also does training for New Zealand doulas. And I couldn’t not mention Kathryn Mannix—her books are a must for doulas.

What do you wish you had known when you started as a doula?  

Well, nothing, really, because I will never know it all, and I’m learning more every single day.  I didn’t expect the journey to be easy. We are at such an early stage here in New Zealand; there aren’t many doulas around the country. Most people have no idea what a doula is here, so it’s a lot of work educating and promoting the role. I’m grateful that I’m in a position to throw everything at it and to also bring our doula community together.  

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow doulas?  

Yes. Just do It. It’s so rewarding to be by the bedside of a dying person, to support their loved ones, and be able to look back and know that you made such a positive difference to their journey. Getting work is hard work, though. You can’t earn a living at this yet, not in New Zealand anyway.  But if you have a doula heart, that’s all you need to keep moving forward with this important and much needed work.

What is your dream for your practice or doulas in general?  

I would love to see doulas in every hospice, hospital, care home, and retirement village in New Zealand. And to see them recognized by the health system and the government, being well compensated for their tireless work. I would love the word “doula” to be recognized as easily as “nurse.” And I would love to see a society in which we talk openly about death and accept our mortality to live the best life we can.