How I Created a Digital Path to Healing From Loss
by Phil Benavides, guest writer
When three of my family members passed away during the COVID pandemic, like so many others, I was faced with a powerful shift in perspective. The corporate path I had been on no longer felt meaningful—I needed to find a way to make a real difference in the lives of those dealing with profound loss, the way I was. I founded Remembrance out of a deeply personal desire to support people through the weight of grief, whether for human loved ones or for the pets who are so often our closest companions. We launched our company with pet memorials because, while the pain of losing a cherished pet can be overwhelming, support is often lacking, leaving people to grieve alone.
Losing a beloved pet leaves a void that’s often hard to put into words. It can be overwhelming to navigate their absence, but honoring their life and the love shared is a powerful and essential step in healing. I decided, with my partners, to create Remembrance to celebrate these lives with empathy, backed by science. We developed a 3-D digital memorial platform using augmented reality and artificial intelligence to provide a space where memories can be kept alive and revisited anytime, from anywhere in the world.
In my own journey, I became a lifelong student of grief education. To better support my family and others, I became a certified funeral celebrant and trained death doula (including with INELDA) with a specialization in pet grief support. This path has shown me the need for compassionate, accessible tools that modernize traditional grief support. Remembrance is built from this understanding, blending human compassion with innovative technology to offer comfort in moments of need.
Working With Experts
The team at Remembrance includes some of the most respected experts in grief and pet loss in the United States. Our advisers—such as Ed Martin, Coleen Ellis, Poul Lemasters, Dr. Linda Harper, and Dr. Jessica Thomas—offer invaluable insights to ensure our services are grounded in the latest research and best practices. We are also collaborating with Hartsdale Pet Cemetery, the world’s most famous pet cemetery, to create a better digital end-of-life experience. Through their expertise and legacy of compassion, we’re working to ensure that Remembrance provides meaningful support to those navigating the loss of a beloved pet.
I reached out to my INELDA community soliciting beta testing of our working product in fall of 2023. More than 30 doulas from INELDA have tested our memorials, giving us essential feedback that has helped refine our services to better support grieving families.
The Science of Grief: Continuing Bonds
Research shows that keeping a connection with our pets, even after they pass, can be a profound aid in the grieving process. This is the foundation of the “continuing bonds” approach, developed in collaboration with grief psychologists and end-of-life pet caregivers. Rather than seeing grief as a journey with an end, this approach emphasizes that love doesn’t fade with loss; instead, it endures, keeping our pets alive in our hearts.
Every aspect of our memorial-building process embodies this philosophy, creating a living, evolving space that users can visit and engage with whenever they feel the need to connect with their pet’s memory.
Healing Through Movement
Grieving can feel paralyzing, which is why actively engaging in physical actions can offer solace. Our digital memorial platform is designed with this principle in mind, encouraging users to channel their grief into meaningful actions. By creating a digital memorial, writing a poem, crafting a tribute, or placing symbolic items like toys or treats, individuals can focus their energy in ways that both honor their pet and help ease the weight of loss. This “mourning through movement” approach is grounded in the idea that activity can be therapeutic, allowing individuals to process emotions through mindful action.
This approach offers accessibility at any time: When the pain feels overwhelming, a person can engage with the memorial, creating new tributes, adding memories, or reshaping it as an evolving testament of love. Each action serves as a step in healing, a way to honor their beloved pet while finding balance through movement. Because we use augmented reality technology, grievers could take a walk that they may have gone on with their dog and digitally place their pet memorial in an environment they may have visited together often, for example.
Embracing Your Journey of Remembrance
As a doula, you know grief is valid and deserves to be honored. Our project is designed to affirm that these feelings are shared by many, and that there is strength in remembering together. People deserve a supportive environment where they can express their emotions and celebrate the love they had for their pets. Our mission is to provide compassionate tools to assist in healing, offering interactive memorials that keep your pet’s memory alive in a space that’s accessible whenever you need it.
In a world where traditional grief support can feel distant or hard to reach, Remembrance was built to provide a comforting, user-friendly space that’s available immediately and without limits.
Posted: November 7th, 2024
AUTHOR BIO
Loren Talbot is INELDA’s Director of Communication and Partnerships