Inequities and Violence Eliminate Choices at End of Life
by INELDA
As we navigate the end-of-life space, as both death doulas and humans, we recognize and want to acknowledge that many of us are experiencing pain over recent headlines. We are devastated by the scale of violence and inequities that we are living with both in the United States and overseas. We firmly believe that everyone should have self-determination and choice at the end of life. The killing of others and inequitable policies eliminate the ability to have choice at end of life.
There are many things we can point to, from the deaths of Israelis and Palestinians to the United States breaking the record for mass shootings in 2023 to the millions of deaths that have occurred due to ongoing global conflicts, intentional homicides, and lack of access to basic services and health care. All of these things leave us untethered and pained by the human experience.
As we navigate the end-of-life space, as both death doulas and humans, we recognize and want to acknowledge that many of us are experiencing pain over recent headlines. We are devastated by the scale of violence and inequities that we are living with both in the United States and overseas. We firmly believe that everyone should have self-determination and choice at the end of life. The killing of others and inequitable policies eliminate the ability to have choice at end of life.
There are many things we can point to, from the deaths of Israelis and Palestinians to the United States breaking the record for mass shootings in 2023 to the millions of deaths that have occurred due to ongoing global conflicts, intentional homicides, and lack of access to basic services and health care. All of these things leave us untethered and pained by the human experience.
We have seen the deathcare community develop environments that acknowledge the scale of loss both within our neighborhoods and our global community. These spaces may be large community gatherings dedicated to collective grief or small 1:1 conversations between loved ones. We continue to witness the growth of these gatherings and how doulas are often the catalyst for these conversations.
To the many of you who are supporting others during this time, we are offering a reminder of personal health care in whatever way that shows up for you. For some of you the gatherings themselves may be self-care; others may require more contemplative time. Taking what you need to prepare yourself to be able to show up for others is paramount.
It is with this in mind that we are taking time to reflect on the topics that many of us are dwelling on at this year’s end. We recognize the pain that we all feel when exposed to the magnitude of death in our feeds, on the news, and directly from our friends and loved ones. We offer a reminder that the reason many of us are drawn to doula work is to meet that dying person one-on-one and be able to honor their choices. It gets to the root level and connects us to one another in a profound, deeply human way.