In This Issue…
- A Year of More Than 12 Months by Henry Fersko-Weiss
- Wild Geese, A Poem by Mary Oliver
- How to Stay Engaged Even in the Midst of Covid-19 by Christy Marek
- Peer Mentoring Group— First Wednesday of Each Month
- Upcoming Member-Only Webinars
- End of Life Doula Training
A Year of More Than 12 Months
By Henry Fersko-Weiss
For the first time that I can remember January doesn’t feel like a new year. Of course, it still maintains its position as the first month on the Gregorian calendar that is used throughout most of the world. But psychologically, emotionally, and even on a practical level I feel like we’re in the middle of a year that began last April. That’s when we moved our doula training classes online—where they remain today—due to the devastating and ongoing pandemic of Covid-19. That was followed a month later by the death of George Floyd, which propelled us into a deep engagement with the whiteness in our organization and a commitment to reevaluate everything we do internally and externally through the lenses of equity and inclusion.
 Along with some structural changes we decided to make, these events led to months of reimagining our organization that is still ongoing and may carry us through all of 2021. So, for now, we’re still involved in a year that seems to go on and on. All the projects we began ages ago last April are still being pursued.
Nonetheless, we do have plans for the months to a year ahead. For one thing, we will continue actively diversifying from the Board level down to the contractors who work with us part-time. Pastor Corey Kennard has just joined our Board. In next month’s newsletter you will be able to read a profile on him written by one of our new contractors, Lisa Feldstein, who is also a Co-Chair of our BIPOC Advisory Council. We are looking to expand our Board further this year with the addition of other people from the BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ communities.
Another project is the expansion and redesign of our newsletter. We have had a very strong following for the newsletter over the years, but we want to give our readers even more reason to open the newsletter each month and engage with the articles, blog, and features inside it. The newsletter redesign will be unveiled in the March to April timeframe. So, look forward to more information and news about end-of-life doula care, profiles on doulas from our doula directory and the larger community of trained doulas, tips and techniques, as well as entertaining features.
We will also be putting our certification process online, making it easier for those seeking certification to complete the packet of information and present the case material needed to get certified. As I know we have said before, our certification process doesn’t involve just taking our training. The training is step one. The rest of the effort in getting certified requires working on cases: writing in detail about those cases, including verbatims of conversations with a dying client and their loved ones; evaluations; letters of reference; an essay exam and more. This process takes time and entails a good deal of effort. In the end, we report back to each applicant at great length about what we see in their work and how they might continue to develop as a doula. It is a tremendous learning opportunity, which is well worth the effort, and gives you a credential that we believe will distinguish you among other end-of-life doulas.
The months ahead will also see us deliver a new website design and content, additional educational offerings, and some innovative and exciting new approaches to supporting the work of doulas. These efforts started back in April and have yet to bear fruit, which is why January doesn’t feel like a new beginning. Can a year last more than twelve months? How about 18-20 months? Stay tuned to read about all that we will unveil in this extra-long year we continue to inhabit as the months move on.
Wild Geese
By Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting—
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
How to Stay Engaged Even in the Midst of Covid-19
By Christy Marek
 Tearing myself away from an afternoon absorbed by news coverage of the storming of the U.S. Capitol last week, I made myself a strong cup of ginger tea and padded slowly to my office to begin the Zoom meeting. I fully anticipated that I might be the only doula in attendance for the Peer Mentoring Group gathering given the unthinkable that was continuing to unfold in our country being broadcast across the air waves. Yet in the minutes leading up to the top of the hour when we were scheduled to start, my heart lightened as I noticed more and more names populating the virtual waiting room.
“Of course,” I thought.
With all we’ve already encountered in the past year, why would I think an attempted coup of our democracy would keep us from coming together as a community to explore creative ways to continue doing our vital work of serving the dying?
Because clearly, it wouldn’t.
The 25-plus beautiful humans who joined me that night reminded me with their deep presence, sparkling enthusiasm, and generous willingness to share with one another, that this is the hallmark of the doula heart – being among those committed to run in when the rest of the world runs out.
Nothing will keep us from moving forward.
***
On the first Wednesday of each month, we offer this much needed opportunity for all trained doulas who are INELDA members to gather together in support of one another as we find our way in these uncertain and unprecedented times.
Sometimes this support looks like creating a receptive space to hear the stories and concerns of those doing the work as they talk about what it’s like out there. Sometimes this support looks like exploring together how we can best go about finding clients, connecting with hospices, and continuing to educate about the EOLD role and the benefits of what we offer. And sometimes, this support looks like sharing ideas for how to continue making strides toward doing the doula work once things open up a bit further.
Each gathering yields a different constellation of interest and experience, so no two meetings are alike. By bringing our collective wisdom to the meeting, we doula each other as we acclimate to the challenges and unexpected opportunities before us. It gives us space to be present with the difficulty of bringing something “new” to the forefront in our present sociopolitical environment.
So, if you are feeling stymied as to how to maintain your momentum as you continue to navigate this unknowable time, here are some ideas surfacing from the Peer Mentoring Group:
- Think outside the box about what is possible. First and foremost, it’s important to know that there are doulas out there doing the work. Trust that with a little ingenuity, you can, too. You may just need to honor that it looks different right now than you might have imagined or expected. Doulas can sit out on the driveway with a bereaved family, socially-distanced, conducting a grief ritual. You can explore legacy with a client via Zoom when it’s too cold to meet in person outdoors. You might talk by phone with a family member, helping to navigate the emotions of not being able to be with a dying loved one. You can take a walk or attend at the bedside wearing a mask in certain situations.How might you find unconventional ways to still show up? Uncommon times call for uncommon measures, all in the service of continuing the work.
- Imagine the work you would be doing with individuals and families, if you could. Commit to spending time envisioning how you most want to serve. What needs are most glaring in your community around end-of-life care and how would you most like to meet them? What is your biggest dream? And no matter what obstacles you see to moving forward, how can you leap over them or move around them?If you don’t have a website yet, play with writing your copy, exploring for yourself what makes you unique as a doula. Maybe you have the experience to specialize in grief work, love creative legacy projects, or have had a career as an event planner that makes you especially skilled in vigil planning, organizing rituals or funerals. If you feel unsure, ask friends to share with you what they come to you for – if they needed a doula, what would make them choose you?Treating this as incubation time will allow you to focus on the possibilities of your work, so you will be ready to hit the ground running when things open up.
Peer Mentoring Group
FIRST WEDNESDAY OF EACH MONTH
NEXT MEETING: WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3RD, 2021 7:00-8:30PM (ET)
 This year has brought unprecedented change to our world and significant challenges to our work as doulas. Given the widespread restrictions due to the pandemic, it has been difficult to find clients for new and seasoned doulas alike. And even when we do have access to the dying and their loved ones, we have had to dig deep into our resilience and resourcefulness to ensure we are doing our work safely for all involved. It is trying times like these that remind us of the importance of community and the benefit of coming together as doulas to support one another in the work.
To create a space where this can happen, INELDA is dedicating our monthly Peer Mentoring Group, through mid-2021, to exploring together the issues we are confronting during COVID. Whether you are actively serving as a doula, haven’t had a client yet—but want to—or have been volunteering within hospices that are now closed to volunteers, we invite you to join this gathering.
We will spend our time together discussing creative ways to find and work with clients, how to use this slower time to deepen our learning, and ways we can continue to bring this important work to others. Join us to connect with and learn from fellow doulas, and to share your ideas and experiences.
This group is not the place to talk about how to start or grow a private practice, or how to secure work in a hospice. Rather, the intention is to provide a much-needed opportunity for us to walk with one another through this uncertain time.
The group is open, at no cost, to all trained doulas that are members of INELDA. It will be facilitated via Zoom by Christy Marek, an INELDA Certified Doula and instructor. The recurring meeting will take place the first Wednesday of every month from 7:00-8:30pm (ET).
Our next meeting will be Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021. You only need to register once. The Zoom link you receive upon registration will be good for every meeting through June 2021. You are free to drop in whenever you can.
Upcoming Member-Only Webinars
JANUARY 27th
Opening a Conversation for 2021
With BJ Miller, MD
 Dr. BJ Miller will join host Kris Kington-Barker for INELDA’s first 2021 members only webinar on Wednesday, January 27th from 7 – 8:30 pm Eastern Time. Dr. Miller’s transitioning practice embracing a more non-medical emphasis, his perceptions about the end-of-life field and the role of end-of-life doulas will all be topics for discussion along with audience Q&A.
Dr. BJ Miller is a longtime hospice and palliative medicine physician and educator. He currently sees patients and families via telehealth through Mettle Health, a company he co-founded with the aim to provide personalized, holistic consultations for any patient or caregiver who needs help navigating the practical, emotional and existential issues that come with serious illness and disability.
BJ has been on the faculty at his alma mater, University of California at San Francisco (UCSF), since 2007 and has worked in all settings of care: hospital, clinic, residential facility, and home. Led by his own experiences as a patient, BJ advocates for the roles of our senses, community and presence in designing a better ending. His interests are in working across disciplines to affect broad-based culture change, cultivating a civic model for aging and dying and furthering the message that suffering, illness, and dying are fundamental and intrinsic aspects of life. His career has been dedicated to moving healthcare towards a human centered approach, on a policy as well as a personal level.
BJ has given over 100 talks nationally, and internationally, on the topics of death, dying, palliative care and the intersection of healthcare with design. Register here for our January webinar.
FEBRUARY 24th
Open Mic Night: Welcoming Your Questions
With Henry Fersko Weiss, Jamie Eaddy, and Christy Marek
 The INELDA members only webinar for February will feature Henry Fersko-Weiss, INELDA Executive Director; Christy Marek, INELDA Instructor and Manager of the Certification Process; and Jamie Eaddy, Co-Chair of the INELDA Advisory Council for Equity, Diversity and Inclusion (CEDI) and Instructor-in-Training for INELDA.
The panel invites you to join them on Wednesday, February 24 from 7:00-8:30 pm EST in an open Q&A exchange. They will welcome your questions, concerns, and thoughts on what you see as important for INELDA moving forward. The panel will also invite a discussion on the work of EOL doulas in the midst of Covid-19 and how we can more consciously shape the future of the field. We hope you can join us. To register click here for our February webinar.
 End of Life Doula Training
We currently have two trainings in the month of April open for registration.
- April 6th – April 25th – Tuesdays and Sundays for 3 Weeks
- April 8th – April 23rd – Thursday Evening and 3 Consecutive Fridays
Please note that our February and March trainings have sold out!
Register here or Learn more about our end-of-life doula training here.
|
