DECEMBER 2024

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DECEMBER 2024

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First Approach to Death (for Both of Us!)

by Amanda Pisetzner, approved by Rachel Rose, a pseudonym

This past July, I was laid off from my full-time job at a news media company in Brooklyn, where I had spent eight years producing and directing content on topics like gun violence, racial injustice, extremism, and the decline of our democracy. I didn’t know how depressed I was and had been, but as I began wrapping up my last project, without the next one lined up, I began coming to.

When I say this, I don’t mean “coming to after a hard month” or “coming to after a hard year” (though both would be true). I mean really coming to, for the first time ever. I started crying more—not about how devastating the news was—but about things like leaves (how are they so green and friendly?), and farmers markets (little stands of fresh produce we buy to nourish our bodies, straight from the ground!). Don’t even get me started on otters (I once read that they hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift apart from each other)

doula Profile
Marcel Fable Price
Marcel is an INELDA-trained death doula who takes the most pride in his work with the legacy projects of his clients. Fable is working toward multiple certifications and is on a lifelong journey to learn everything he can from various cultures about death and dying–ceremonies, religions, vigils, and everything his clients are willing to teach him about the process—so that he can be an endless well of wisdom to those he is walking alongside during their own process.
Q&A with Marcel
When and why did you decide to become an end-of-life doula?
Becoming an end-of-life doula wasn’t something I chose—it felt like it chose me. After losing my wife to metastatic breast cancer when she was just 30 years old, I was forever changed. Her passing, combined with witnessing the deaths of my grandfather and my good friend and longtime roommate Nate, illuminated so many lessons I wish I had known earlier. I realized that I wanted to help others navigate the pain, beauty, and complexity of end-of-life journeys. I want to walk alongside people so they feel supported, prepared, and less burdened by the regrets I’ve carried.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Community Meetup: Reflections & Intentions

*Today! December 12 | THU 2-3pm ET

Join this month’s meetup led by membership coordinator Janine Cuthbertson. Together, we will focus on what you created and learned in 2024 and your goals for 2025. Get to know others in your INELDA doula community through breakout rooms and 1:1 sharing. Come ready to engage. Community meetup events are available to all INELDA members. Become a member | MEMBERS REGISTER

Discovery Call: Becoming an End-of-Life Doula

December 17 | TUE 12-1pm ET

Learn about INELDA’s end-of-life doula training and our approach to supporting the dying and their loved ones. This discovery call is an opportunity to hear about the topics covered during our training and how we facilitate a supportive and experiential learning environment. Calls are open to all.

Limited to 300 seats | REGISTER HERE

•Extended• End-of-Life Doula Training

January 6–27 | MON & WED 6-10pm ET

This six-session online doula training is intended for those who hope to support the dying and their circle of care. Learn INELDA’s doula approach and methods by exploring your own mortality, supporting the autonomy of the dying person, and understanding the signs and symptoms at the end of life. Training is open to all.

(Closes soon – Register by 12/21.) Click to see the full schedule | REGISTER HERE

MEDIA OF THE MONTH

A Guide to Grief

by Cole Imperi

Cole Imperi is a thanatologist, award-winning author, and researcher whose work focuses on the use of nonclinical tools in support of those experiencing loss and grief. She is the founder of the School of American Thanatology, where she both teaches and conducts research under the school’s ThanaLab and which has students in more than 30 countries. READ EXCERPT

Working With Grief and Loss During the Holidays

by Marady Duran, LMSW, MSW, MATD, and INELDA educator

I had the opportunity to speak to a group of widows last year during the holiday season about what end-of-life doulas do in the community. While I was giving my presentation, the discussion shifted to how much the participants missed their partners and how difficult the holidays were for some in the group. The participants talked about old traditions that they no longer practiced and what it was like to be alone during the holiday season.

INELDA artilce Image - Working With Grief and Loss During the Holidays - Home made Tamales on a wood block cutting board setting on a Mexican heritage print cloth

One of the group members said, “What if we did those traditions still, or with one another?” Suddenly, the energy in the room shifted, and the discussion turned to stories of loved ones who had died, the foods they loved, or traditions that they enjoyed that they could bring back for the upcoming holiday.

INELDA UPDATE
INELDA IN SAN DIEGO
The recent end-of-life doula training in San Diego was an extraordinary event, bringing together 57 passionate participants eager to deepen their understanding of compassionate care. Led by two dynamic INELDA educators, Marady Duran and Greg Hedler, the training provided a transformative learning experience, combining heartfelt storytelling, practical tools, and profound insights into the end-of-life journey. READ MORE
ENDWELL WAS EPIC
INELDA team members Erika Lim, Omni Kitts Ferrara, and Kayla Palisoc met at End Well this past November. The daylong gathering in Los Angeles brought together people from all around the United States who are deeply committed to educating and transforming end of life. READ MORE
END-OF-YEAR GIVING: HONOR SOMEONE SPECIAL
Did you know that you can honor someone special with a tribute gift to INELDA? When you honor or memorialize a person who has made a difference in your life, your contribution supports scholarships for our educational programs and INELDA’s work to advance compassionate, equitable, and accessible deathcare through the presence of doulas. We’ll send a special acknowledgment upon request to your honoree, letting them know of your thoughtful gesture in their name. READ MORE CLICK HERE to make a tribute gift.
DUKE STUDENT’S RESEARCH ON DOULAS WINS AWARD
Undergraduate researcher Jenna Yeam, working under Dr. Dan Ariely, founder of the Center of Advanced Hindsight, interviewed 67 INELDA-trained doulas. Her thesis examines what goes wrong at end of life and how death doulas respond. She recently presented the findings at the Duke Global Mental Health Conference and won a Best Poster award. READ MORE

IN THE NEWS
On November 29, Omega—Journal of Death and Dying published “Demystifying Death: Reflections on End-of-Life Doula Work,” featuring interviews with 39 INELDA-trained doulas conducted by researchers Amy Dellinger Page, Jonelle H. Husain, and Jack H. Glascock. Last month, The New York Times featured Omni Kitts Ferrara, INELDA’s director of education, in an article by Dana G. Smith titled “The Most Important Conversation to Have Before You Die.”

Support INELDA here

INELDA’S DECEMBER WEBINAR
Monthly Webinar

Responding With Ritual: Marking the Year’s Losses
December 18 \| WED 7 – 8:30pm ET
*Please note that due to the many holidays the last week of December, our webinar schedule has been moved to the third Wednesday of the month.
As we close the cycle of 2024 and turn to what lies ahead, we invite you to gather in community to create and participate in establishing a ritual that addresses your needs and approach to processing loss. Because as members of the deathcare community, we experience a lot of loss within a year. Participants have the opportunity to choose between a ritual processing one’s internal grief or developing a ritual to acknowledge the loss of someone they supported over the past year. We will move into one of two breakout groups where you will be guided in designing an end-of-year ritual. INELDA educators Kim Stravers and Wilka Roig will discuss the importance of ritual, guide us through a grounding practice, and then lead us through one of two rituals for the year’s end.
These two educators will bring us together to explore the importance of ritual in our lives and how it can be utilized for our own reprocessing. Developing rituals for our doula practices or personal losses can help navigate the grief that may have emerged with the loss you experienced.
Cost: Free with INELDA Tier 2 & 3 Membership \| Tier 1 and Non-members $15

PRACTICE CORNER

TOOLBOX TIPS

We are not there to fix years of abuse and dysfunction. We are there to ease transitions and handle what is asked of us by our clients who fall within our scope of practice.

—Alexandra Taylor

SHARING SOURCES
MyDirectives
MyDirectives is a leader in digital advance care planning, empowering individuals to express their health care goals, values, and treatment preferences while making it simple for clinicians and caregivers to honor those choices.
Its secure, cloud-based platform ensures that advance care planning documents, such as advance directives, portable medical order forms, Five Wishes, and advance mental health directives, are accessible whenever and wherever they’re needed, helping to take the uncertainty out of emergency or end-of-life treatment.

ASK INELDA

“Does anyone know if medical facilities would honor a decision

to follow VSED, voluntarily stopping eating and drinking? The dying person already has a DNR in place.”—INELDA private Facebook group member

Educator Shelby Kirillin: While I haven’t had any personal experience with this situation, I have been told that most, not all, facilities struggle with honoring this request. They are under their own regulations and policies to provide nutrition to all their residents, and they see this as directly conflicting with that. There have been people who have added clauses to their advance directives that state, “If I can’t feed myself on my own, please do not feed me,” but I don’t know how well that is honored. READ MORE

Please submit questions to [email protected]

SELF-CARE

Ramble On

With our lives overscheduled and our eyes perpetually trained on screens, my instincts around self-care always return me to practices that are simple, untimed, and natural. In this, I find that the most effective way for me to heal and nurture myself is to remember that I am, after all, an animal. And what better way is there to come back to our place in the community of life than to be engaged with our physical environment?

I don’t think any of us needs to be convinced by a clinical trial that communing with nature is highly beneficial for us—maybe even indispensably so. When my brother and I were rambunctious children tearing up the house (and our parents’ patience), the admonition often was “Go outside and play!” Nature was a place to burn off energy, inhale huge lungfuls of fresh air, discover the microcosmic worlds of plants and animals, invent ways to experience our surroundings with pleasure and creativity. Being banished from the house for a few hours was not punishment, I came to understand, but respite and recovery and freedom. READ MORE

—Kim Stravers

News Briefs
Nonpharmacological Support in Person-Centered Palliative Care
Psychosocial interventions are a critical part of palliative care, yet health care professionals routinely underuse these strategies for patients at end of life, conclude researchers and Admiral Nurses Rachel Daly and Diane Drain of Dementia UK in a new report. READ More

Military Suicide Rate Continues to Rise
Despite ongoing prevention efforts, suicides among members of the armed forces rose in 2023. In 2022, 331 service members died by suicide; last year, that number rose to 363. In 2011, the suicide rate was 17 per 100,000 active duty service members. READ MORE

News Brief 3 - Hurricanes May Cause Up to 11,000 Deaths, Years After the Storm

Digital Health Tools Could Unlock Healthier Futures
Hurricanes and tropical storms may carry a death toll of thousands more than official reports indicate. A study recently published in Nature indicates that the average tropical cyclone triggers between 7,000 and 11,000 excess deaths. READ MORE

The Final Word

Surrender to Sadness
by Jae-mu Lee
As we wash the water in a fish tank with water, I scrub my sadness with sadness. Sadness is the father of life. I gather my hands and bow, And I listen to its wisdom.

Accessible, Equitable, and Compassionate Deathcare

© INELDA 2024 International End-of-Life Doula Association is a
501(c)(3) tax-exempt nonprofit organization
Tax ID#: 47-3023741

Email us: [email protected] | Phone: 201-540-9049

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