May 2022

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MAY 2022

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Becoming an empty vessel

by Virginia Chang, Ph. D.

The Taoist Master Lu taught, “One can not follow what is with a full mind.” I have used this saying as a guiding principle in my work as an end-of-life doula. What does it teach me about showing up for others?

In my current, modern-day life, I am so busy with work, family, social activities, exercise/sports, and the daily grind—my life is so full. Then, on top of all the physical activities, there are the emotional stressors of anxiety, grief, uncertainty, and guilt, just to name a few—my mind is so full. It is not possible for me to see “what is.”

Master Lu’s teaching applies to not only how I may see myself—in a cluttered life—but also how I may see others. His saying has also been interpreted to mean that in order to connect to reality and react accordingly, one must first rid oneself of preconceived conventions and beliefs.

doula Profile
Christina Marthield Montgomery
Christina is “a Black, disabled, fat, femme lesbian” who received her master of divinity in May 2021 from the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago. Although she is awaiting ordination, she currently serves in a pastoral capacity at First Lutheran Church of the Trinity in the Bridgeport neighborhood of Chicago. She lives in Hyde Park, Chicago, overlooking Lake Michigan with her fiancée, Danielle, and her son, Ezekiel. She loves to cook, knit, crochet, paint, cross-stitch, sing, and collect elephant items.
Q&A with Christina
When and why did you decide to become an end-of-life doula?
My draw toward doing ministry for the dying and bereaved began in early 2015 after the death of my great-nephew, Jayveon. He was the first baby born in my extended family in more than a decade—my 21-year-old niece, Dijah’s, first. My whole family was incredibly excited. I had taken some birth doula classes, and my niece had asked me to be at the birth to support her. She was doing everything natural, we had a birth plan, and even a plan to save her placenta after it was naturally delivered!

UPCOMING EVENTS

18
MAY

Summer Learning Series

Enrollment opens for INELDA’s Summer Learning Series, including new offerings for both doulas and others interested in exploring various aspects of mortality and end-of-life topics. Focus areas include dementia, mapping emotions, and more.

19
MAY

Peer Mentoring & Support Group – PRIDE

Third Thursday of every month, 7:00–8:30 p.m. (ET). This is a space for members who are INELDA-trained LGBTQIA2S+ doulas to hear each other, support each other, encourage each other, and learn from each other in a safe space. Log in through your member account.

MEDIA OF THE MONTH

The Anatomy of Grief

by Dorothy P. Holinger

In her book The Anatomy of Grief, Harvard psychologist Dorothy P. Holinger uses humanistic and physiological approaches to describe grief’s impact on the bereaved. Taking examples from literature, music, poetry, paleoarchaeology, personal experience, memoirs, and patient narratives, Holinger describes what happens in the brain, the heart, and the body of the bereaved. READ MORE

Excerpt from The Anatomy of Grief:

MOTHERS
My mother is dead, and I want her back. —Meghan O’Rourke

What is motherness? Mothers, however portrayed—as Byzantine Madonnas, mercurial presences in fairy tales, or emancipated professionals in contemporary fiction—embody an essence, a relationship, that is hard to capture with mere words. After birth, a baby listens, stares at, and smells the unique scent of mother while cradled in her arms.

Preparing for Pride Festivals: An Opportunity for Hospices and Doulas

by Dr. Joseph A. Eppink

“I didn’t know I’d be accepted,” she said as a single tear descended on her cheek, standing by the hospice booth at Pride. Her story was like so many. A family member she deeply loved was very ill and diagnosed with a limited time to live. She was apprehensive about calling for help, thinking she would be rejected. It was shocking to hear this, but a deep reality set in: Perhaps members of our community don’t know they will be welcomed by end-of-life organizations such as hospice.

INELDA UPDATE
MEET INELDA’S NEWEST EDUCATORS
Dr. Qwynn Galloway-Salazar is based in Snellville, Georgia, where she works as an end-of-life doula, educator, hospice volunteer, and qualitative researcher. With over two decades of work serving the military and veteran community, she recently found her footing in the space of social change and began sparking conversations nationally and internationally related to suicide prevention and end-of-life care for our nation’s veterans. READ FULL BIO Omni Kitts Ferrara has spent the majority of their life educating about the body, working to dampen misinformation and disconnection—and encouraging animacy and connection. Omni works as a somatic facilitator on many levels: movement, birth, living, relationships, and death. Omni facilitates, processes, and holds space for others as they move through the work of living and dying. READ FULL BIO

Teri Jacobs early on was called to support friends, neighbors, and loved ones in times of disease, advanced illness, and end of life. She recognized how leaning into a situation and being present and open created a deeper connection for all. Being a witness to someone fully alive while dying inspired her to find ways to bring conscious living into wellness, illness, and dying. READ FULL BIO Rasalin Neudeck was born and raised by grandparents in St. Louis, learning early in life the meaning of “transition.” The meaning deepened in parenthood, higher education, and community building in El Paso, Texas, for almost a decade. Her role in supplementing the provision of health care includes ensuring quality of life alongside access to basic needs, education, public resources, and mental and physical health during transition for those in focus and those in surrounding support. READ FULL BIO Lara Stewart-Panko (she/they) is someone who has a passion for individual, family, and community issues. Lara finds end-of-life fascinating, challenging, and ripe with opportunities for healing and connection. “I feel humbled and privileged to be involved in work that is so intimate, empowering and profound,” Lara writes. “I believe compassion is never wrong, liberation is an imperative, and I love the power of community.” READ FULL BIO

WELCOME NEW BOARD OF TRUSTEES MEMBER
Tito Guerrero first started learning about business and operations at the age of 8 when he started working in his father’s automotive machine shop. At the time he had no idea of the education he was receiving. Over the last 12 years he has been in the nonprofit world, working within the Goodwill family. Tito landed on Goodwill’s doorstep out of necessity, not desire. In 2009, in the middle of a recession, he was released from prison after long-term incarceration. READ FULL BIO

SCHOLARSHIP DEADLINES
Scholarship applications for our 2022 July EOLD trainings are due on May 23rd. Scholarship applications open on June 1st for our 2022 August EOLD trainings.

DOULA IN THE NEWS
INELDA-trained doula Liz Lightner was interviewed by Clair McFarland in Cowboy State Daily about her doula work. READ FULL ARTICLE

INELDA’S MAY WEBINAR
Monthly Member Webinar

Medical Aid in Dying (MAiD): What You Need To Know
*Wednesday, May 25th, 7:00-8:30 p.m. (ET)*
Join INELDA to explore the considerations end-of-life doulas face when the conversation turns to medical aid in dying, or MAiD. We proudly host Janie Rakow of FareWell Doula, and Lori Goldwyn of the Bay Area End of Life Doula Alliance, both advisory board members for the American Clinicians Academy, representing end-of-life doulas.
Currently, 22% of the U.S. population has access to medical aid in dying, resulting in a significant need to establish and inform about best clinical practices developed from evidenced-based knowledge ranging from pharmacology to volunteers at the bedside. The American Clinicians Academy, established in February 2020, has increasingly taken on that role, including by developing aid-in-dying training for nurses, end-of-life doulas, and bedside attendants. Janie and Lori will address the most current medical, legal, and practical information regarding MAiD, doulas’ role in supporting MAiD participants and others present, why specific training is important, how to access training, next steps after training, mentoring, case examples, and pitfalls. Please note that this session will not delve into ethical or moral considerations on medically assisted death.
MAiD is currently legal in California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Montana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont, Washington, and Washington, D.C. For INELDA members, particularly members in these states, this promises to be an informative and fascinating discussion. INELDA director of special programs Kris Kington-Barker will facilitate this member event. READ MORE

PRACTICE CORNER

TOOLBOX TIPS
	When I am putting together a celebration of life, I ask family members if there is anything they want to contribute—a speech, poetry, prayer, music. We brainstorm some shared activities for the gathering, like telling a memory and then lighting a candle.
Another idea is to have guests write down memories of the person and attach them to branches that are then “planted” in a vase for all to read. Create a moment of togetherness by releasing native butterflies or ladybugs after a funeral. If the deceased had a collection, such as crystals or miniatures, with the family’s approval it could be shared with loved ones. Set up a table with some of their signature items, like cameras, jewelry, favorite candies—anything that might reflect the person’s interests. Think about sharing a part of that person. One could have photos available for people to take home, or a recipe, birdseed, flower seeds, or tree seedlings. At one funeral I went to, each person who spoke added a rock to a cairn in descending order of size. The family took it home and put it in their garden.
—Kerith Earlix

SHARING SOURCES
ALS Association
ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), sometimes referred to as Lou Gehrig’s disease after the Yankee baseball great, is a progressive neuro-degenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. The ALS Association is a nonprofit that supports research and advocacy for those living with the disease and has earned a gold seal from Guide Star and a four-star ranking from Charity Navigator.
Founded in 1985, it supplies resources and funding “to serve, advocate for, and empower people affected by ALS to live their lives to the fullest.”

ASK INELDA

You spoke of healing touch during training. Can you elaborate a little more about how this can be used as a doula? —March training participant

Educator Marady Duran: This profession often brings in a lot of energy workers and other modalities of therapeutic healing touch workers. I took a specific course that focused on healing touch for people at end of life. I believe there is a lot of value to simple, caring healing touch that helps you build a strong connection with your clients and is also reassuring for many people. However, I believe having consent from clients is very important before touching them. With that in mind, holding someone’s hand during vigil, placing a hand on the shoulder, or even holding the bottoms of people’s feet is something that anyone can do even if they are not formally trained and can bring much comfort. READ MORE

Please submit questions to [email protected]

Self-Care Prescription

Acknowledging Traumatic Experiences,

From Self-Care for Nurses

Too often nurses work shifts that traumatize us emotionally, mentally, and physically. But how often do you go home and digest what actually happened?
It is easy as a nurse to fall into the habit of compartmentalizing while at work—but you may never actually process your feelings later. You constantly deal with stressors and trauma, but may brush it off as “this is just what I do.” And in some senses, that’s true—in order to effectively perform in any emergency situation, you need to master your parasympathetic nervous system and focus on what needs to be done in that moment.

After your shift, however, it’s important to allow yourself to process your emotions in a healthy way. You are still human after all, and at the end of the day, what happens to you at work becomes a part of your life experience and will ultimately affect you as a whole. READ MORE

—Xiomely Famighetti

News Briefs

Canada’s New Approach to Advance Care Planning in Nursing Homes

Advance care planning allows people to establish their wishes and preferences in regards to treatment at end of life. Yet for nursing home patients in the United States, only 59% have advance directives and only 17% have a living will, according to the Journal of Palliative Medicine. The situation is similar in Canada, where a group of researchers trialed a new approach called Better tArgeting, Better outcomes for frail ELderly patients (BABEL). READ MORE

AI May Detect Early Signs of Pancreatic Cancer

Pancreatic ductal adenocarcinoma (PDAC) is the most common form of pancreatic cancer, accounting for over 90% of cases. It is also one of the most challenging cancers to treat, making early detection critical. The overall five-year survival rate of PDAC barely exceeds 10%. But now an artificial intelligence (AI) tool developed at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles holds the promise of earlier detection, which could result in a survival rate of up to 50%. READ MORE

Screening Voice Recordings for Depression
A group of researchers at Worcester Polytechnic Institute have developed a computer program that screens voice recordings to identify people who are depressed. This highly effective program can help alert physicians and other clinicians that a patient needs help. The program analyzes the words a person uses as well as tone of voice. READ MORE

The Final Word

When You Meet Someone Deep in Grief
by Patricia McKernon Runkle
Slip off your needs and set them by the door. Enter barefoot this darkened chapel hollowed by loss hallowed by sorrow its gray stone walls and floor. You, congregation of one are here to listen not to sing. Kneel in the back pew. Make no sound, let the candles Speak.

© INELDA 2021 International End of Life Doula Association is a
501(c)(3) tax-exempt nonprofit organization
Tax ID#: 47-3023741

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