OCTOBER 2024

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OCTOBER 2024

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If Our Pets Can Die With Dignity, We Should Be Able to Too

by Jennifer Daniels

In the past week, I had two transformative experiences—supporting my first medical aid in dying patient as a death doula and euthanizing my beloved cat. While the two experiences were vastly different in many ways, together they served to crystalize something I’ve always believed: Every living being should have the right to die peacefully and with dignity.

Medical aid in dying, or MAiD, is a medical practice that provides a terminally ill, mentally capable adult with a life expectancy of six months or less the option to request a prescription for medication they can self-ingest to die peacefully in their sleep. It is legal in 10 states and the District of Columbia, with many additional states repeatedly introducing legislation to legalize this option.

doula Profile
Lisa Kaufman
Lisa Kaufman, MSRS, CMC, CTRS, C-EOLD, is a fellow/certified professional Aging Life Care manager and has worked with the specialized allied health needs of older adults since 1993. She has owned and operated SeniorCare Options since 2001. She is an active member of the Aging Life Care Association and is one of only a handful of certified care managers in Georgia as well as the only fellow/certified Aging Life Care professional in the state.
Q&A with Lisa
When and why did you decide to become an end-of-life doula?
I trained with INELDA in 2017, and as an Aging Life Care manager, I provide services up to the end of life. I wanted more training and a designation to better serve my clients and families.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Mapping Emotions Workshop

October 17 | THU 6-9pm ET

This workshop, led by Omni Kitts Ferrara, helps you explore your human responses to areas of importance, name the visceral emotions, and tease out their meaning. We will practice discerning, processing, and managing our emotions and feelings using an interactive guided imagery technique. | REGISTER HERE

Discovery Call: Becoming an End-of-Life Doula

October 22 | TUE 12-1:30pm ET

Learn about INELDA’s end-of-life doula training and our approach to supporting the dying and their loved ones. This discovery call is an opportunity to hear about the topics covered during our training and how we facilitate a supportive and experiential learning environment.

Calls are open to all. Limited to 300 seats | REGISTER HERE

•Extended• End-of-Life Doula Training

October 29–November 14 | TUE & THU 6-10pm ET

This six-session online doula training is intended for those who hope to support the dying and their circle of care. Learn INELDA’s doula approach and methods by exploring your own mortality, supporting the autonomy of the dying person, and understanding the signs and symptoms at the end of life. This training is open to all. (Registration closes 10/13.) Click to see the full schedule | REGISTER HERE

MEDIA OF THE MONTH

Dead Talks

Hosted by David Furrugio

Having lost his father on 9/11 when he was 12, David Ferrugio learned the importance of discussion and sharing stories. His mission is “to help people that have lost, that are grieving, and those that haven’t faced death yet through the words of my guests.”

The insights that are shared through storytelling are more than just an approach to grief—they’re an approach to living.

Follow the Money: Your Member Advocacy Contributions

by Loren Talbot

“Where does my advocacy contribution go?” is a question our member coordinator, Janine Cuthbertson, gets on occasion. It’s been a moment since we had the opportunity to talk about it, so we wanted to share where this money goes.

Follow the Money: Your Member Advocacy Contributions

As a small team, INELDA partners with other organizations whose work is rooted in the same advocacy interest areas. Your dollars allow us to join these organizations, creating other opportunities to amplify our voice, support policy work in the deathcare space, and partner with other organizations doing parallel work.

INELDA UPDATE
WE’RE HIRING EDUCATOR ASSISTANTS!
INELDA is seeking to fill two part-time educator assistant (EA) positions with a focus on customer support. The EA/customer support role is essential to the successful execution of all our course offerings, including live virtual trainings, workshops, and remote customer service. READ MORE AND APPLY
RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY
Amy Shields is an anthropology graduate student at the University of Alabama at Birmingham doing a master’s thesis on end-of-life doulas. She is specifically interested in how doulas interact with other doulas and with the various people also involved in caring for dying persons, such as health care professionals, hospice volunteers, clergy members, and family members. READ MORE
BECOME AN INELDA SUSTAINER
Help us reach our October fundraising goal with a monthly gift of $5, $10, or more! Did you know that INELDA has trained over 7,500 doulas globally? As part of our deep commitment to strengthening access to compassionate deathcare for all, we have provided over 350 need-based scholarships for our courses totaling more than $225,000, offered pro bono training to community groups and organizations, provided grants to peer organizations serving marginalized communities, and more. READ MORE

IN THE MEDIA
Researchers Sarah Donley, PhD, and Casey Fannin published their research paper “‘Death Bouncers’ and ‘Spiritual Guides’: How End-of-Life Doulas Provide, Frame, and Navigate Spirituality and Spiritual Care” in the Omega Journal of Death and Dying. READ ARTICLE INELDA educator and end-of-life doula Alexander Aldarondo, leader of AMORir, an organization that provides education, preparation, and support for dealing with death, was featured in the Paris-based publication Worldcrunch. READ ARTICLE

INELDA’S October WEBINAR
Monthly Webinar

Curating Grief Through Art and Design
October 30 \| WED 7-8:30pm ET
Objects hold deep importance, and whether sacred or profane, the things we carry can be a powerful vehicle for awareness, understanding, and connection. Art offers us a way to contextualize a life and establishes a connection between a person who has died and those who grieve them. Discover how we can all be curators and work through grief. Charlene Lam is a certified grief coach, a speaker, and the founder of The Grief Gallery. After her mother died suddenly in 2013, Charlene leaned into her creativity and instincts as a curator to guide herself through grief. She’s the star of the new short film Curating Grief: Loss and Objects, and her first book debuts in late 2024.
*We invite attendees to bring a digital image of a meaningful object or item that belonged to a loved one—or a story about an object.* INELDA’s director of education, Omni Kitts Ferrara, invites you to the conversation about how art can support our grief journeys.
Cost: Free with INELDA Tier 2 & 3 Membership \| Tier 1 and Non-members $15

PRACTICE CORNER

TOOLBOX TIPS

In regards to the client who is ready to die but doesn’t meet the requirements for MAiD—I would encourage them to reach out to Final Exit Network to inquire about its guide program and whether they would be eligible to receive education from the organization. If they were accepted to the guide program, you could still work with this client on planning their final weeks, days, legacy, etc.

—Katharine Stewart

SHARING SOURCES
Well Spouse Association
The Well Spouse Association (WSA) is a national 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization whose mission is providing peer support to current and former spouses and partners of those with any chronic illness or disability. The WSA membership program offers support groups (both in-person and via telephone), an online chat room and forum, and mentors. WSA also offers a newsletter.
Well Spouse was founded in 1988 by author and spousal caregiver Zane Kotker, whose husband was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. With much encouragement, she wrote a book, Mainstay: For the Well Spouse of the Chronically Ill (using the pseudonym Maggie Strong), sharing her experiences as a well spouse.

ASK INELDA

Can you share some information on agonal breathing?—Training Participant

Educator Omni Kitts Ferrara: Agonal breathing is often a good sign of imminent death. It is ineffective breathing, and sometimes people call it a “fish breath,” mirroring a fish out of water. The breath is irregular, gasping, and shallow, and it may be accompanied by snorting, gurgling, or choking sounds. When agonal breathing begins, I have seen people go in minutes, and I have seen people go in hours. Sometimes secretion medicine is administered as the sound, often referred to as a death rattle, can be disturbing to those present. The medicine dries up secretions, but it also dries up all mucous membranes, which isn’t always comfortable. READ MORE

Please submit questions to [email protected]

SELF-CARE

Refill Your Cup:

Recognizing the Signs of Burnout and Prioritizing Self-Care

Working with people in their final stages of life can take a toll, both emotionally and physically. The emotional burden of witnessing grief, pain, and loss can leave you feeling drained. Meanwhile, the physical demands of caregiving, from providing hands-on support to maintaining your own mental focus, can leave little energy for yourself.

If we neglect our own care, we run the risk of burnout and compassion fatigue, which can impact the quality of care we provide. The more we care for ourselves, the better equipped we are to offer our full, empathetic, and present selves to those we are caring for. READ MORE

—Katina Perkins

News Briefs
Rural-Urban Life Expectancy Gap Has Grown
Rural men’s life expectancy is two years shorter than that of their urban counterparts—triple the discrepancy from 20 years ago—shows new research in The Journal of Rural Health. They also enjoy 1.8 fewer years in quality health in their later years than urban men. Meanwhile, rural women also face some disparities compared with urban women, but the gap is far smaller. READ MORE

Dignity Therapy Validated by New Review
Dignity therapy, a psychological intervention designed to ease existential suffering and preserve dignity at end of life, has been shown in individualized studies to have beneficial effects. READ MORE

News Brief 3 - Dizziness Increases Chances of Falling in Older Adults

Dizziness Increases Chances of Falling in Older Adults
A meta-analysis of 29 studies has concluded that dizziness is an important predictor of falls in adults age 65 and older. The research, published in the journal Age and Ageing, covered studies that total 103,000 participants and demonstrated that older adults who have dizziness are more than 60% likelier to fall in the future than adults without dizzy spells. READ MORE

The Final Word

Grief
by Barbara Crooker
is a river you wade in until you get to the other side. But I am here, stuck in the middle, water parting around my ankles, moving downstream over the flat rocks. I’m not able to lift a foot, move on. Instead, I’m going to stay here in the shallows with my sorrow, nurture it like a cranky baby, rock it in my arms. I don’t want it to grow up, go to school, get married. It’s mine. Yes, the October sunlight wraps me in its yellow shawl, and the air is sweet as a golden Tokay. On the other side, there are apples, grapes, walnuts, and the rocks are warm from the sun. But I’m going to stand here, growing colder, until every inch of my skin is numb. I can’t cross over. Then you really will be gone.

Accessible, Equitable, and Compassionate Deathcare

© INELDA 2024 International End-of-Life Doula Association is a
501(c)(3) tax-exempt nonprofit organization
Tax ID#: 47-3023741

Email us: [email protected] | Phone: 201-540-9049

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