NOVEMBER 2023

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NOVEMBER 2023

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Emerging as a Doula in Rural Ireland

by Melissa Murphy

How timely to share these reflections near the anniversary of my relocation to Ireland (November will be seven years here!). It’s clear now that simultaneously moving to a new country while starting my end-of-life doula journey was (and continues to be!) pretty amazing. The luck of the Irish,perhaps? But also the encouragement of my husband, the blessing of time that this lifestyle change provided, and a whole lot of perseverance.

I began researching end-of-life/death doulas online in 2016 when there was little in the cyberspace ether. INELDA was the first resource I found, and its offerings and ethos resonated with me—along with the fact that the founder was once a social worker like me (I spent 15 years in various health care settings, including hospice).

doula Profile
Kacie Gikonyo
Kacie is the owner of End of Life Consulting Co. She is a registered nurse, INELDA-trained death doula, and death educator. As a nurse, Kacie worked with clients at the end of life for over 12 years. Working the front lines of COVID, Kacie worked tirelessly to help many people who were dying in a terribly difficult situation. It was at this time that she identified her passion for helping people die more calmly, comfortably, and safely.
Q&A with Kacie
When and why did you decide to become an end-of-life doula?
After working the frontlines during COVID, I wanted a change. I wanted to be able to provide a more whole and complete type of deathcare without being in the traditional nursing setting. In 2022 I began researching options, and this is when I found INELDA and the death doula training. When I read what a death doula is and does, it went off like a light bulb in my head. This is absolutely what I am meant to do; this is my calling.

UPCOMING EVENTS

End-of-Life Doula Training Refresher

November 13-16 | MON, TUE, THU 6-9pm ET

“Refresher” is a shared learning space where you can continue cultivating your gifts, connect with the community, and exercise your creativity. This training is for those interested in accessing the latest concepts and techniques explored in our current end-of-life doula curriculum. All trained doulas are welcome to join this training, and INELDA-trained doulas receive $100 off the price of this training. Click to see the full schedule | REGISTER

End-of-Life Doula Training

November 28-December 14 | TUE/THU 6pm & SAT 10am ET

This ONLINE doula training is for those who intend to serve the dying independently, as part of a hospice program, in a hospital or care facility, through a community program, or in a doula collective. Topics include models of care, deep active listening, ritual and ceremonies, vigil planning, and more. This class is open to all will meet at the end of November into mid-December on Tuesday and Thursday evenings for six sessions, and one full Saturday session. It also includes two optional Q&As. Click to see the full schedule | REGISTER

MEDIA OF THE MONTH

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn From Love and Loss

by Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, reviewed by Lara Stewart-Panko

In this highly readable book, Mary Frances O’Connor shares what neuroscience has discovered about grief, including elegant explanations for many common symptoms. While acknowledging that additional perspectives on grieving, such as sociological and spiritual ones, are very important pieces of the picture, she does a beautiful job of articulating what the neurobiological lens can do in terms of increasing our understanding of the experience.

Pass the Potatoes, and Can We Talk About End of Life?

by Loren Talbot

Based on the droves of people who saw the Barbie movie this year (whether they liked it or not), her character may have already prepared us for some important holiday conversations. Everyone, even people not in our field, thinks about death—they just aren’t always talking about it.

Pass the Sweet Potatoes, and Can We Talk About End of Life?

Some of us may have worked with our loved ones supporting them while they were dying or grieving, while others may be embarking on something new and haven’t yet had that conversation with the people closest to them. Sometimes it is easier supporting strangers than it is the ones we love.

INELDA UPDATE
A GOOD DEATH FILM AT DOC NYC
Come watch a doula movie with us in New York City (or from the comfort of your own home if in the U.S.)! A Good Death, co-directed by Jean Chapiro and Alison Boya Sun is a featured short in the DOC NYC film festival. The film features INELDA-trained end-of-life doula Virginia Chang and her client Soon Ja during her final months of life. Some of the INELDA team will be at the in-person screening and hope you’ll say hi! Tickets are available to view the film in-person or online. PURCHASE TICKETS

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT CLASS NEWS
We have decided to no longer offer our Business Development Class. In 2024 we will be offering a replacement. In the event you have purchased this class in the past, you will still be able to access it online through logging in to to your INELDA Account.

C-TAC AND CAPC CONFERENCE
INELDA team members joined the Coalition to Transform Care (C-TAC) and Center to Advance Palliative Care (CAPC) in Washington, D.C., at their leadership summit, Transforming Care for People with Serious Illness, at the end of October. As a member of C-TAC, INELDA is working to network with other organizations to bring doula support to more individuals everywhere. READ MORE

INELDA OFFERS POETRY CEUS WITH JOHN FOX
John Fox, author of Poetic Medicine: The Healing Art of Poem-Making and other writings, is the founder of the Institute for Poetic Medicine and a leader in poetry therapy and expressive arts fields. READ MORE


REFRESHER TRAINING IN DECEMBER
Our last End-of-Life Doula Training Refresher of the year will be held from November 13-16. For those who trained with another training organization and are looking to become INELDA-certified, this is your opportunity to take training that will teach the INELDA approach in order to move forward with the certification process. REGISTER HERE

STAFF TRANSITIONS
We would like to thank Garrett Drew Ellis for the work and energy he has brought to INELDA. We wish him the best of luck with his work and writings.

INELDA’S NOVEMBER WEBINAR
Monthly Webinar

Setting the Room for BIPOC End-of-Life Care
November 29 \| WED 7-8:30pm ET
Come explore how end-of-life and death professionals can show up for BIPOC patients, families, and communities whose end-of-life experience has been colonized and absent of any reflection of personal connection. Discuss how to fill the gaps with love and honor, and educate those who will be present to do the same with Joél Simone Maldonado, aka The Grave Woman. Joél is the founder of The Black Death, Grief, and Cultural Care Academy (BDGCCA), an organization whose charge is to improve the care that Black and Indigenous patients, deceased, and communities receive.
Moderated by INELDA educator and end-of-life doula Wilka Roig, we explore sitting bedside with a dying person and devoting the required attention and focus to the cultural, spiritual, and personal essence of that person.
Cost: Free with INELDA Tier 2 & 3 membership \| Tier 1 and Non-members $15

PRACTICE CORNER

TOOLBOX TIPS

For those looking to explain the end of life to those living with intellectual and developmental disabilities, there is an excellent resource called How to Break Bad News to People With Intellectual Disabilities: A Guide for Carers and Professionals. I find this book helpful in the work I do as a doula and as a social worker for people with varying disabilities.

—Ashley Keagle

SHARING SOURCES
The Death Deck
Founders Lori LoCicero and Lisa Pahl created The Death Deck after meeting through hospice in 2008. When Lori’s husband, Joe, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and put on home hospice, Lisa was the social worker assigned to support them.
Following Joe’s death, the two “bonded over Lisa’s compassionate expertise and Lori’s willingness to explore her grieving process fully.” Eventually, their time together led to conversations about how to help others discuss the end of life long before having to confront it—and The Death Deck was conceived.
The Death Deck is offering 15% off* through 11/16/23.* Get your discount code

ASK INELDA

I have a question regarding scope of practice. I have lots of different modalities. If I am engaged in work as a doula, but I’m also a certified nurse assistant and a massage therapist, when is it appropriate to bring in those other skills? —Training participant

Educator Garrett Drew Ellis: When you’re working as a doula, when is it appropriate—and when is it not appropriate—to offer multiple services? There are a number of modalities that really blur the lines, such as social work and therapy, and we suggest you stay away from those services. But there are other things that you can offer. You might specialize in something like Reiki or massage.

What we do suggest is that if you’re in private practice, your description of services, your contract, and your agreement should be very clear about how you’re showing up and what you’re offering on a given day. READ MORE

Please submit questions to [email protected]

SELF-CARE

Sitting With Uncomfortable Spaces

When I was last pregnant, a friend of mine was a newly minted birth doula and asked if she could be my doula. I replied, “Of course!” We didn’t talk too much prior to that day, but I shared some of the things I was hoping for during this birth and left it at that. The next time I saw her was early in the morning when she walked into my bedroom and sat quietly beside me as I labored through a contraction. She didn’t announce herself or even start talking; she just entered, sat, and held my hand. Throughout the labor, she didn’t try to help me with any doula techniques, nor did she coach me. She would quietly reassure me with a few words, “You are doing it.” She made me feel safe in the process of birth—how? By sitting with me in my uncomfortable space. READ MORE

—Omni Kitts Ferrera

News Briefs
by Loren Talbot
Family Death Burden of COVID Examined
A recent study by researchers in Iran reported how the COVID pandemic affected families’ perceptions of the deaths of their loved ones. Through an integrated review, researchers identified family encounter issues both before and after COVID-related deaths. “The issues raised before the death of the loved ones include no visit and absence at death time, fear of being infected with the COVID-19, death anxiety, failure to perform religious rites at death, and psychological problems.” READ MORE

Cancer Centers Need More Caregiver Support Programs
Over the past two years, researchers reviewed 238 accredited cancer centers in the United States to assess family caregiver support programs across the country. Findings showed that the majority of centers hosted programs, while around 25% had none. The study reviewed 11 types of services being offered at the centers; 75.4% had at least one program, with the most common offering information and referral services. READ MORE

News Brief - Book of Dead Unearthed in Egypt

Book of the Dead Unearthed in Egypt
According to Live Science, archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a 3,500-year-old cemetery that contains what the Egyptian Ministry of Tourism and Antiquities is referring to as a Book of the Dead papyrus. The discovery was made at the cemetery at Tuna al-Gebel in central Egypt and dates from circa 1550 to 1070 BCE. READ MORE

The Final Word

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
by Mary Elizabeth Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die.

Accessible, Equitable, and Compassionate Deathcare

© INELDA 2023 International End-of-Life Doula Association is a
501(c)(3) tax-exempt nonprofit organization
Tax ID#: 47-3023741

Email us: [email protected] | Phone: 201-540-9049

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