The Beautiful Blossom of the Unexpected
A day of continuous, cold rain. In my mind and according to the calendar, it should be 20 degrees warmer. I find myself thinking: “it isn’t supposed to be this way.” We are so accustomed to believing that the world of our everyday lives will follow some immutable laws that we are in charge of writing. That the world will bend to our wishes, follow our plans, and live up to our expectations. We conveniently forget the truth of unrelenting change that carries us along like a thundering river swollen by spring rains. A force that sometimes drags us unpleasantly over rough rocks or tumbles us unto strange shorelines.
In the last few weeks, a number of challenging things have happened in my life that I wasn’t expecting. So, I have had to face how easy it is to be seduced by the smooth patches in life until the unexpected leaps up and throws everything out of balance, reminding me that almost nothing is within our control. I don’t see this as pessimism, but as surrender. And in surrender we still can choose to meet any circumstance with energy and creativity.
As doulas, we need to remember to expect the unexpected. More often than not, at some point in your care of a dying person, you will need to respond to the unexpected by shifting gears, finding a new approach, or going in a totally different direction. We do that by helping those involved to find the answers for themselves or by supporting and deepening the answers as they appear. When we do that the beautiful blossom of the unexpected can open and fill us with a fragrance sweeter than we would have imagined.
In this month’s newsletter article, Cari’s Magnificent Shrouded Stardust Deep Sea Burial, you will read how an unexpected turn of events in the after-death care of Cari Leversee turned into a beautiful evocation of who she was. It vividly shows how what at first can seem like a major disappointment might spark a creative redirection that results in a perfect new expression of the spirit that animated the original plan. This article is the second installment of the dying and after death story of an amazing individual and end of life doula. Cari Leversee lived her dying with authenticity and openness that holds many wonderful lessons. Enjoy reading about this last part of her journey.