I met with a hospice group this week, and as we shared updates about the families we are supporting, the topic of grief during the holidays naturally surfaced. The holiday season brings a unique tenderness. It is a time often associated with joy, tradition, and gathering, yet many of the people we serve are facing profound transitions. For some, this may be their last holiday with loved ones. For others, death has already occurred, and our work now turns toward holding space for the circle of care left behind. As end-of-life doulas, we understand how layered this season can be. The holidays often magnify the presence of absence, stirring memories, unfinished conversations, rituals, and deep longing. In these moments, our role is not only to support the individual who is dying but also to gently guide those who are grieving as they move through a time that can feel both sacred and overwhelming.

Ritual can be especially meaningful during this season. Ritual creates structure when the world feels unsteady and allows families to honor their loved one in a way that feels intentional and grounding. Whether through a candle lit at a shared meal, a special recipe prepared in remembrance, or a moment of silence held together, these gestures can become touchstones of connection. In my community, I have also noticed an increase in communal grief events and workshops. This rise in collective spaces for grieving is encouraging, as communal grief has long been recognized as deeply healing. It reminds people they are not carrying their sorrow alone and offers a place for grief to be witnessed, held, and shared.

For families navigating loss during the holidays, it can be helpful to soften expectations and allow themselves to do less than they may have in previous years. The season does not have to look or feel the same, and simplifying plans can create space for rest and reflection. Many families find comfort in choosing one or two meaningful traditions to keep while gently adjusting others. Maintaining everything identically may feel painful, yet abandoning all traditions can feel destabilizing; selecting what feels grounding offers a sense of continuity. Small acts of remembrance, such as preparing a loved one’s favorite dish, sharing a story, or placing a photo in a special place, can help anchor grief in meaning and connection. Doulas are in a unique space to hold conversations within the family about individual needs. Doulas also honor the fact that all of their people grieve differently. For some, moments spent outdoors or engaging in gentle movement can offer relief and help the body process emotion. For those who feel called, attending communal grief events or remembrance gatherings can provide a sense of belonging and shared understanding. We are able to remind those we serve that joy and sorrow often coexist, and letting both be present honors the full spectrum of love and loss.

As we continue this work, may we remember what my dear mentor Ocean says: “Grief is not only a response to loss, but also an expression of love.” During a season centered around connection and meaning, supporting that love in all the ways it appears is one of the most sacred parts of our role as doulas.