Every three months, INELDA hosts a gathering circle for all members to process the grief we hold about the world around us. Those of us who are deathcare workers know how to hold space for the impossible. The space of the deep grief. The space of the grief of those around us. There is no off switch to grief. We simply endure. We simply accept. These circles allow us to be together in acknowledging how each of us is carrying their own personal grief for what we are witnessing together. This is a gathering to discuss the things we carry: the genocides we watch on our phones, the people in power doing unspeakable things , the proliferation of war, our neighbors being kidnapped in broad daylight, environmental harm, and the other global traumas.

At INELDA’s 10 year anniversary celebration, one of our panelists was speaking on her calling to do end-of-life work. She said poignantly that when others were running away from suffering, she found herself running toward it. Our grief circles are a space for our community to run toward this collective grief together. They are a space not for solving the world’s problems or making our grief go away, but for simply letting feelings exist with other people who feel it too. It is a way for us to feel less alone in our communities’ suffering.

Skillfully facilitated by Amanda Faison and INELDA membership coordinator Janine Cuthbertson, participants are invited to share what grief they feel for the state of the world. One by one, a constellation of grief pours out. Solidarity, witnessing, allowing. No one is fixing anything. No one is commenting. We are simply tending to our grief in community together by allowing it to exist and be witnessed.

As deathcare workers, we know how rare it is to find spaces that do not shy away from grief in this world. It is even more rare to find a space dedicated to the secondary grief of witnessing the world around you. This kind of disenfranchised grief so rarely has a place to live in community with others.

INELDA’s Gathering Circles foster this energy. The temptation to fix, the temptation to soothe, the temptation to put a silver lining on something painful is deeply human. And yet, in this space, we abstain from those behaviors, knowing that transformation can occur in the simple act of witnessing and being witnessed.

If you are an INELDA member, we invite you to witness with us. We invite you to share your own grief about what is happening for you—in your community—and—in our world.