SUPPORTIVE SOLUTIONS FOR SECONDARY TRAUMA
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by Marady Duran, LMSW, MATD, and INELDA educator
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Some time ago, I was working with a family in the hospital who had a young son who was critically ill. I was talking with his mother when his body started to violently convulse, and I watched his mother run to his side, trying to assess what was happening. A few seconds later I saw his heart rate spike. The alarms went off, which led to a rush of medical team members to his side. My stomach felt queasy, and I stepped outside to allow the medical team to do what they needed to stabilize him. I watched from the outside of the room as they administered medications and other interventions as his mother stood watching.
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In college, Jason was a finance student and fraternity president, set on becoming a hedge fund manager. But when his dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, his entire identity shattered. He was severely depressed, alone, and at his lowest point, but “by the grace of God,” he got through it. That pain taught him how much we all need connection and understanding, especially in our darkest moments. Now, his mission is to build community and ensure people know they’re not alone on their path.
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When and why did you decided to become and end-of-life doula?
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I decided to become an end-of-life doula a few years ago after volunteering at a local hospice company for several months. During my volunteering, I realized that there was training to become a doula, so I figured I may as well get trained!
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COMMUNITY MEETUP: TELL YOUR INELDA STORY
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April 17, 2025
Thursday 3pm – 4pm ET
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Location: ZOOM
Host: Shelby Kirillin
Price: FREE – Open to All Members
We each felt a calling or listened to a whisper inside that led us to discover INELDA. Come share your unique journey with us and be inspired by others. All members invited! This month educator Shelby Kirillin will facilitate the group.
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April 23, 2025 to May 28, 2025
Wednesdays 7:30pm – 9:30pm ET
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Location: ZOOM
Host: Omni Kitts Ferrara
Price: $425 – Discounts available for Tier 2 and 3 Members
This is a six-week cohort-style led course to help empower doulas with the skills to build their unique doula practice and model of care. We will guide doulas through trusted strategies for building a “plan for practice” that will help establish their vision for care, their impact, and the financial resources needed to sustain one’s practice. This course will be led by director of education Omni Kitts Ferrara.
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APRIL 24, 2025
Thursday 6pm – 9pm ET
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Location: ZOOM
Host: Wilka Roig
Price: $130 – Discount available for Tier 1, 2 and 3 Members
This workshop, led by Wilka Roig, helps you explore your human responses to areas of importance, name the visceral emotions, and tease out their meaning. We will practice discerning, processing, and managing our emotions and feelings using an interactive guided imagery technique.
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All There Is with Anderson Cooper
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Heads up for those who haven’t tuned in yet: Anderson Cooper and CNN are now in the third season of their grief podcast, All There Is With Anderson Cooper. Anderson, whose mother died in 2019, began this podcast in 2022 to give a platform to the stories of others experiencing grief and loss. It is an exploration of grief, how grief impacts different people, and how we continue to live in the wake of loss. As an addition to this season’s content, CNN has also created an online community where thousands of audience members’ stories are featured and where you can share your own stories. “Listening to these voicemails is incredibly moving and has helped me feel less alone in my grief,” Anderson shares. “I hope this online grief community will help others feel less alone in their grief as well.” We encourage you to give a listen to these compelling interviews and dig into the ways in which grief shapes our lives.
Listen on: Spotify // iTunes // Website
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Seeding Deathcare Communities
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Generative questions for further discovery of who we are in the delivery of communal deathcare
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In different ritual spaces, the basis of the actions begins with the elements. What sustains us? Who will do what necessary jobs underlie what steps are taken? To answer these questions we must listen first to the needs expressed to be able to do this.
I am a gatherer and have always been able to hear what different people bring to the table and to envision or imagine what possible webs may be spun from unique collaborations of talents. A mutual aid network is a decentralized body in which each participant holds necessary knowledge and this knowledge is generously shared to empower each body. There is no gatekeeping—rather the understanding that if more people understand how to do the act being collaborated upon, the more it will be done. In a world that primarily values top-down models, it can be hard to imagine just how powerful this type of relational strength can be.
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Educators Omni Kitts Ferrara, Wilka Roig, and Kim Stravers joined learners for a three-day training in Santa Fe, New Mexico, this past month. Fun fact: The INELDA team randomly ended up staying on a dead-end road named Vigil! It was great to be in Santa Fe and be in community with the group that joined the training.
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ENROLL IN OUR UPCOMING BRIDGE TRAINING
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Bridge Training is for those interested in learning the INELDA Doula Approach launched in September 2024 and latest techniques covered in our current end-of-life doula curriculum. If your INELDA training occurred before this period or you trained with another doula organization, we look forward to sharing our process-based model with you. For those interested in applying for our yearlong certification program and have not taken either INELDA’s End-of-Life Doula Training or the Hospice Doula Training, the Bridge Training provides a direct route to be able to apply. REGISTER by May 9 for our May 17 training.
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DOULAS NEEDED FOR VALUABLE RESEARCH
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Sociologist and researcher Sarah Donley is conducting a study on “the emergence, professionalization, and impact of end-of-life doulas in reshaping end-of-life care. She is seeing participants for interviews via Zoom lasting between one and one and a half hours. The study has been approved by the Institutional Review Board at Jacksonville State University. If interested please contact Sarah via email at [email protected].
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Did you know INELDA is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization? We rely on public support and program revenue to meet our annual budget and continue providing education and community programs, scholarships, advocacy, and outreach to expand the presence of end-of-life doulas. Help INELDA meet its mission and transform end-of-life care with a monthly gift of $5, $10, or more. CLICK HERE to become an INELDA Sustainer today!
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EXPLORE INELDA’S RELAUNCHED CERTIFICATION PROGRAM
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Join our Discovery call April 16 at 5 p.m. ET. Our one-year certification program was designed to enhance your skills as an end-of-life doula through mentorship, peer review, and continuing education. In this Discovery Call, learn about the program’s structure, certification requirements, and how certification can elevate your professional practice. This hourlong conversation is for trained end-of-life doulas seeking growth and anyone considering certification to deepen their impact in end-of-life care.
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Communications Skills Lab: Role-Playing Difficult Dialogues
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April 30 | WED 7 – 8:30pm ET
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Join us for our April webinar, “Communication Skills Lab: Role-Playing Difficult Dialogues,” with Compassionate Coaching founder Erin Whalen and role player Elizabeth Jernigan. This webinar will be a role-playing workshop wherein participants are encouraged to bring in difficult situations they have encountered or expect to encounter while supporting the dying. This workshop is meant to hone our communication skills through practice. If you have a scenario that you hope to learn from, we invite you to bring your story to the workshop to explore with Compassionate Coaching. This team works with medical teams throughout the country.
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This workshop is an excellent opportunity to practice these difficult conversations, explore new approaches to communication, and gain insight from role play. If you don’t have a scenario to share, we invite you to attend as an audience member and to learn by watching the participants. If you do have a scenario that you would like to share and your scenario is chosen, you will be in your role as the end-of-life doula while the Compassionate Coaching team will act as the dying individual or their circle of care.
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INELDA educator and licensed clinical social worker Greg Hedler will support this webinar.
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Cost: This month’s webinar is FREE for all INELDA members | Non-members $15
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When diagnosed with a difficult cancer diagnosis, consulting with a social worker can be useful for help with resources and suggestions for logistical support as well. It’s a lot to balance going through cancer treatment while thinking about the day-to-day needs of the family. Support groups for patients, caregivers, and children are also a good idea. As an oncology nurse, I think it’s also appropriate to focus on hope in this situation. While treatment will likely be challenging, there have been many advances in recent years. From a doula perspective, it is equally appropriate to explore the meaning of a life-threatening illness and to consider legacy work.
—Donna Neumark
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Redesigning the End is an education platform for deathcare learners to further their education around estate planning, eldercare, senior housing, and more. Redesigning the End provides various courses—some of which are offered for free, with focuses that include green burials, after-death care for doulas, and more. Some of these courses provide certifications as well. In addition to online courses, the company also produces a podcast that focuses on death, doulas, caregivers, inheritance, and other death-centric topics.
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Webinar guest Thalia DeWolf, RN: Someone had asked if a private nurse is allowed to support a person choosing medical aid in dying. In the 10 U.S. states plus Washington, D.C. where MAiD is legal, anyone may support a person choosing MAiD to self-ingest the medication, no matter their training or credentials. Depending on the state, the prescribing clinician must be an MD, but in Hawaii, Colorado, and New Mexico the prescriber may also be a nurse practitioner or advanced practice registered nurse, or APRN. Best practice for oral ingestion is to have a knowledgeable person (doula, nurse, doctor, friend, or loved one) mix the medication and be at the bedside so family can focus on each other versus on the medical details. Visit aadm.org for resources and referrals.
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As doulas, many of us juggle multiple caregiver roles. Perhaps you straddle taking care of the ones who raised you and your own children simultaneously, you may run care teams or work long hospital shifts, and perhaps you doula animals at end of life or volunteer in all your “free” time. You may have a routine that you planned for yourself when you started your job or when you decided to become a doula–but when was the last time you updated your needs?
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Relevant Cuts at Department of Health and Human Services
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With thousands of employees at the United States Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) being laid off through the Trump administration’s reduction in force initiative, health care services, including those that directly affect end of life, are forecast to be dramatically affected.
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Maternal Mortality Efforts in Question
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The United States ranks higher in maternal mortality than a number of nations with less developed health care systems or less robust economies, including Tajikstan, Moldova, and both the West Bank and Gaza Strip, according to the Central Intelligence Agency’s world fact book. Many of these deaths are preventable, as demonstrated by the success of initiatives designed to improve community rates for all people giving birth.
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Another State Poised to Allow MAiD
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Delaware may become the 11th state to support medical aid in dying. In March, the Delaware House of Representatives passed a bill that echoes MAiD laws from the other 10 states where the practice is legal: mentally capable adult residents of Delaware with a terminal illness who have received a prognosis of six months or less to live can receive medicine to be self-ingested and end their life.
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by Mawlana Jalaladdin Rumi
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On the day of my death, when my coffin is carried away,
Do not think that I suffer or feel pain in leaving this world.
Do not weep for me, nor say, “How tragic! What a loss!”
For if you fall into such sorrow, you have fallen into illusion—And that would be the real loss.
When you see my funeral, do not cry, “Separation! Separation!”
For me, that moment is not parting—It is the time of reunion and meeting with my Beloved.
When you lower me into the grave, do not say, “Farewell!”
For the grave is merely a veil,
Hiding the great gathering of souls in Paradise.
If you witness my descent into the earth,
Then look also at my rising!
Why should the setting of the sun and moon bring you sorrow?
To you, it may seem like a setting,
But in truth, it is a rising, a new dawn.
Though the grave appears like a prison,
It is, in reality, the soul’s liberation.
Has any seed ever been buried in the earth and not grown?
Then why do you doubt that the seed of man will not sprout again?
Has any bucket ever been lowered into a well
And not returned full of water?
Then why lament when the Joseph of the soul descends into the well?
When you close your mouth in this world,
Open it in the next,
For your cries of joy will echo
Through the realm beyond space and time.
Shared by Zeyneb Sayilgan, Institute for Islamic, Christian, and Jewish Studies
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Support Accessible, Equitable, and Compassionate Deathcare
DONATE HERE
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© INELDA 2025 International End of Life Doula Association is a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt nonprofit organization that relies on public support to do it’s work. Tax ID#: 47-3023741
Phone: 201-540-9049
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